Every time I try to set a boundary at work, like not answering emails after hours or saying no to a sixth urgent project, I get labeled difficult, not flexible, or not a team player. But when someone in leadership does the same thing, it’s protecting their priorities or showing strategic focus. I’ve seen colleagues praised for pushing back while I get punished for the same thing. I’m not trying to be rude. I’m just trying to protect my time and mental health. How do you handle this kind of double standard?

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Are you by chance a woman? Because I have the same issue. When men set boundaries they’re respected. When women do it we’re being difficult.

likesmart

Exactly this!

I’ve learned to document everything and tie my boundaries to performance language they understand. It’s not fair, but it sometimes helps you be heard without backlash.

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Boundaries are for US, not THEM. So don’t answer emails after hours and if you’re questioned about it, you can say “I’m absolutely available to answer emails during my business hours. I’m happy to discuss an after hours expectation, but that would need to be negotiated as part of my salary.”

As far as projects…”I’m happy to take this on. In order to do that, one of these items on my workload would need to come off or be delayed. Can you advise which you would like deprioritized?”

You will also have to accept the label. You’re not bending over backwards and just handling everything. They will adjust—but it will take time and you being consistent.

I like to think about it as not saying “no” but more so saying “yes” to yourself and to the value that you bring when you are able to focus on the items that are most important.

1000% true

They can get over jt

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