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I have the 3. Answer: “everything.”
Childbirth is physically traumatic. Assume she’ll be totally out of commission for at least that long. Don’t make her get out of bed or lift a finger, if she doesn’t want to / can’t.
- Do all the diapers
- keep the house clean
- bring the kiddo to her for feedings or do the bottles yourself
- take the kiddo before she asks for a break when you know she needs one
- make sure gauze/ice packs/meds/squeeze bottle are stocked in the bathroom and her bedside
- hold her when she needs to be held
- go away when she needs some quiet time
- make sure she eats
Good luck. The first weeks are the toughest. The ones after that are only a bit easier. Billions of people with fewer resources than you have succeeded. You will too
Great list - also would add to have extra help available if at all possible or even as a backup. If no family, consider hiring a doula even for just a day or two. If any medical issues during the birth it will be a lot for you to fully take care of mom and baby (from experience)
Change the diapers and just be there for her. The first two weeks are pretty straight forward for you, especially if not bottle feeding.
I would also add that you should do your research on c-section recovery and how it differs. Plenty of deliveries end up going into c-sections, if they weren’t scheduled to begin with. The recovery is brutal and longer
First weeks are really hard and big adjustment. Take proper time off work, help with putting baby back to sleep especially after night time feeds while letting wife rest. Don’t bother her with any other admin, take care if it all: shopping, cleaning, etc
Also for both of mine we fed breast milk from syringe within first couple of weeks to allow nipples a break, meaning I could still do at least one night feed while wife sleeps through.
With all 3 of mine, we started 1 bottle/day to give flexibility for me to feed / her to be away from kid / me to do nighttime. This works if breastfeeding is easy. If it’s a struggle, most docs will say to wait until breast/latch is a breeze before introducing bottles
Be patient. You never know how she’ll react. She’ll probably be VERY exhausted. Think of the time in your life when you were most tired. For me, when I get desperately tired, I oscillate between extreme irritability (where I bite heads off for no reason) and depression (where I’m sure I can’t go on and my kids will end up homeless). With each birth my wife showed similar symptoms. Each time it got better with time and my wife was “normal” again. Once she had postpartum depression and it took a lot longer to recover.