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Hey fella as vet in this ..this is it, it ain’t about you anymore. Your life is your kids which includes supporting them, which may Include working long hours. The enjoyment now is about watching them develop, succeed and fail at things. It’s almost like watching yourself at a younger age...You will need two couples trips a year maybe a fellas get away once a year...But for the most part this is it. Trade in that beemer for a Honda Odyssey...it’s all about them now. But trust me it’s equally as enjoyable
Take the toddlers to do the things your wife doesn’t ...skiing, sushi, baseball, golf —build future fans and friends and everyone will be happy
You are at the cusp of a major mid life crisis. Seek help immediately before things get progressively worse.. e.g. start I feel like you are no longer “in-love” with your spouse.
Wait for 21 years
Pick something outside of those obligations that you can do for yourself. Ideally a pursuit that is objectively beneficial to you both in the short and long term, and is indirectly beneficial to your family. An example would be weightlifting / exercise if that is up your alley. Set a target goal like “20 unbroken pull-ups”, create a workout plan and diet to achieve that, then set aside daily time to work out in a class or alone.
Could also be something like woodworking, hiking, shooting, etc.
Also try to dial back obligations / commitments where possible.
What are you missing the most?
I remember it is a rough few years. You will get back to sleeping in and lazy sundays pretty quickly. And most of the dads at the birthday parties are in the same boat so you can commiserate. Many of the parties we go to have the game on in the background and plenty of beer flowing. If that’s not the case for you it will be soon. Enjoy it. In a couple years your kids won’t be as interested in you. Cats in the cradle...
@ACN2 you just described my life perfectly. Guess we are all in same boat. Lol. Lifevests = beer
At least verbalize which buckets of time you’re short on (fam, guys/gals, romantic, alone). You’ll never keep up with all of those, but at least rotate the one that’s suffering. Even then, 90% of my life is work and fam
@K2 Yeah, about that minivan...
I’m with you, just don’t feel it’s “equally as enjoyable.
@M2 Miss the most to be able to sleep in and then watch sports on the couch. Kids are up at 7 latest and there’s always a play date or birthday party same time as my team’s games
My son is 1 month old. For this year, I have the perfect excuse to stay in on Sunday afternoons and watch football with the kiddo. I suspect this will change once he starts walking though...
OP - I was literally just about to post something like this - and I only have one kid! I am working from home right now, I take care of the morning routine with my daughter, and get her to school. Then my wife comes barreling in the house at 2:30PM and wants me to do a bunch of stuff or talk to her or just generally makes a lot of noise talking to her friends on speaker phone etc. at that point she goes and picks up my daughter early, like at 3:30, the house is still a mess, groceries still not gotten, dinner not made etc. Then she wants me to get off of working at like 4PM for “family time” from 4-10PM...makes it impossible to stay focused...definitely can relate to having 0 hours to do anything I might want to do for fun or just work harder if I wanted to. I just told her this can’t happen anymore, but it seems women (or maybe just my wife) don’t understand time blocking, has that been your experience as well? (and to KPMG No way in hell in trading in my BMW haha)