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Hi there. I’m hoping you’ve sorted out the salary differences and its implications to your relationship. Your S.O. Must be okay with this or it will be a problem later. Ensure that you both are comfortable with the division and contributions of financial responsibilities. Too may relationships end for this reason alone. Don’t use it as leverage, either. Been in your spot and it’s not easy.
Everything is joint in the same bank accounts. Once we got married, we combined everything. At the end of the day, if we ever chose to get divorced, assets earned during the marriage are typically considered joint regardless of salary differences, so it didn’t make sense to us to continue splitting (outside of the emotional aspect where we felt that we were becoming one family and it felt right to combine everything). If we had significant assets before the marriage, I would have been open to a prenup - but we didn’t.
You married this person you are one household now. If your partner has a ton of pre-marital debt, then maybe they use their income to pay that down but after that contribute proportionally to everything else. Otherwise you coulda just got a roommate lol
Are you married? If not, I would keep finances separate but proportional. i.e. you make 100k , they make 50k, you pay 2/3 of expenses and they pay 1/3 of expenses. Once you are married, you are going to have to shift the mindset from "I've worked really hard to make a lot more money than my partner" to "I work really hard to make sure we have the kind of life that we want". That is going to require hard conversations with your SO, to see what you are both comfortable with. Some people keep things separate and continue on with how they paid for things before marriage. Some people combine everything and some do a hybrid. For my husband and I, a majority of our money goes into a joint checking and is budgeted out and bills get paid out of that account. We also have our own accounts that we have agreed upon amounts that get direct deposited into them and I can spend it how I want and so can he. For us, if everything went into joint I think we would be critical of what the other was spending money on, this way if I want to spend all of mine on clothes and him on eating out it doesn't impact the other person.
Thanks a lot super helpful. That makes a lot of sense!!!
I also make significantly more than my spouse. We don’t have a joint account. I am responsible for household finances and we have split up bills fairly proportionately to our salaries. Rather than contributing to one account though, we’re individually responsible to pay our assigned bills.
I’ve been married for 15 years and always made more than my spouse up until the last year. Others are correct in saying that once you’re married it’s no longer my life and their life - it’s OUR life that you build together. I’ve only ever seen one couple split their finances and they got divorced after 35 years of marriage.