Hi everyone,

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been through something similar.

The last few months at work have been… a lot. Our company recently got unionized, negotiations are ongoing, and leadership is still very much in denial about what that actually means. I’ve been stuck in the middle—trying to build a working relationship with the union while also pushing back internally when something doesn’t sit right...
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I’ve been stuck in the middle—trying to build a working relationship with the union while also pushing back internally when something doesn’t sit right from a compliance/risk perspective. It’s been exhausting.

On top of that, I’ve been dealing with a lot of tension with another director. Think being undermined in meetings, spoken over or to in a pretty disrespectful way (including in front of my team), and having basic requests ignored—like asking for proper documentation to support a termination for cause. It’s been constant.

All of this is happening while I’m juggling my regular workload, a full HRIS transition, and everything union-related. I’ve been working 10+ hour days for over a year now. Oh forgot to mention, it is non-profit.

Recently had a pretty rough conversation with the CEO where I was told I’m not doing enough, that it’s unclear what I even do day-to-day, and that I should basically be going around asking another department daily how I can help them. There were also comments that brushed off the behavior from that director, like it’s just a normal reaction to conflict. That one really hit me. I ended up taking a short stress leave (1 week) after that—first time in my life.

I’m actively looking for something else, but I’m still here for now and trying to figure out how to handle things in the meantime.

Would you file a formal complaint in this kind of environment, to force the CEO to finally look into the other director's unhinged behaviour?
Has anyone been in that “middle person” role during unionization and dealt with this kind of pressure?
How do you protect yourself when leadership just isn’t aligned with reality?

Honestly, I feel pretty broken at this point. Undermined, pushed aside. I know what I’ve delivered in this role—I’ve worked incredibly hard—but it feels like none of it matters anymore. I even started questioning if I am in the right occupation at this point.

And to top it off, I just saw a recruiting agency post a role that looks almost identical to mine. So while I’m trying to keep it together, it seems like they might already be planning my replacement.
My team has asked my permission to give me a call after hours; they said it is absolutely hostile there, with the CEO changing roles on the fly, adding more to my staff, lots of conflict and drama, lots of tensions.

Would really appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks for reading.
(location: Canada)

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Sounds like a classic situation where the CEO/Management doesn’t understand the role or value of HR. That alone is a tough battle. Considering everything else you have going on, plus your day job and the stress leave - I don’t think this is a good long term option.

Also, sounds like an issue where private management is acclimating to unionization - which they may be totally unqualified for or unexperienced with; and this creates a dichotomy of private sector managers in a public sector role - usually a mismatch.

While it’s not the best option - a form quiet quitting may make it bearable, they would likely eventually package you out (giving you the break and time you might want/need) and be able to look for other work. It’s shady they’re hiring for the role - but that just means they’re going to do it again to a new HR person. Or they’ll want someone working 12+ hours a day for little pay.

I empathize because I’m in a similar spot - I’m just biding my time until I find a better job or get a package because of my tenure. Just because they don’t see your value, doesn’t mean that you aren’t valuable or competent, or cut out for HR. This is classic gas lighting by poor management.

You either need to start looking now, wait for a package or quit for your own mental sake. But know I see you, I’m with you and I know how hard a lot of those challenges are. I couldn’t imagine unionizing as an additional layer.

I’m always a fan of learning in tough situations but this sounds untenable. The expectations are absurd and I imagine the pay isn’t keeping up. Also the disrespect in meetings is a clear sign of dismissal. You are more than this job, it’s a hot mess from the outside so don’t let anyone make you think it’s not on the inside and that it’s your fault.

Sending my support, best wishes and empathy your way - it’s a rocky road, but you got this! What ever you choose, make sure to put yourself first.

likeuplifting

Prioritize yourself, don't risk your mental and physical health for any employer. Share with your network you're actively seeking new opportunities.. tbh, I don't think there's anything you can do at this point but to just look for new opportunities/exit plan... Since you're in Canada, they'll probably have to give you a separation package either way since it doesn't sound like they could articulate clearly what your "performance gaps" are. Hang in there!

uplifting

100% agreed

I have been in periods like this and it builds up quickly. I would take a step back and prioritise what actually needs your attention, not everything at once.

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lol…what?

Going through a similar situation. You need to take the reins and look for ur next opportunity now. Hr is not understood in many organizations.

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