How many dates do you usually give it to determine if chemistry is there? Went on a first date and enjoyed the conversation/feel there’s potential for connection, but just not feeling that spark.

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I don't go on second dates if 1) I found the experience exhausting and draining, and/or 2) the thought of kissing the person was physically repulsive.

If someone makes it through those, then on the second or third dates there's usually some kissing or physical touch. If I'm not turned off / feel like I want to wriggle out of it, then that's enough for me to keep going further.

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I'm a guy and this is pretty much where I'm at.

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4, before I decided how I feel about a guy, unless I feel unsafe in his company.
I no longer look for a “spark” in my case that’s my trauma recognizing their trauma. I focus on communication, attraction and core values.
(Sidenote: I always offer to split a bill)

likefunny

Gotta do the work and stay self aware, right? We can only fix ourselves.

I do two dates. First dates are sometimes awkward and sometimes people have an off day. But if after two dates I'm not at least thinking about kissing them (or more lol), then there is no third date.

I'm also a woman, if that matters

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I’ll give it at least three dates, maybe more if the first few dates were relatively short. Once, I went on five dates with a guy because on paper he seemed like a perfect match but I just couldn’t find the spark. We kissed a couple of times but I had no desire to make out with him or cuddle with him.

smart

Two dates. If it feels forced then no point in running against the wind. If I really want to kiss her by the end of date one then I'll definitely have a second date and see if the same feelings persist.

smart

Depends on what you’re looking for. If life partner, I would give it at least 3-4 dates. My current partner, it took like 3 months of consistently seeing each other to figure out I actually really liked him beyond just a casual date. And the chemistry actually got better over time. We both admitted that we didn’t have ‘fireworks’ in the beginning. Now we’ve been together 1.5 years and it’s the best relationship I’ve had in 7 years. I’m not single anymore but still lurking sorry 🤣

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On the topic of intimacy with partners… I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and the past year his libido has dropped to zero. Mostly due to work stress (he says). Whenever I try to initiate, he always shuts me down and says he’s not in the mood. I even touch him and he gets hard but stops me as soon as I try to unzip him. We went from once a week to maybe once a quarter.

I’ve talked to him about it and he says I should take care of myself. So frustrated. 😭😭

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Is it cool to use slang when with co workers?

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Ping him directly for more info

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Partner: Can you get this turned around by 10p?

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likefunny

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likehelpful

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