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Chumboogie the 👑 King of the household
Hi All,
I just got a call from KLA Company's HR that I have cleared final round and there is a HR round today evening for salary discussions.
The role is for Frontend Developer(Angular).
I have 3.1 years of experience.
CCTC - 13.2 LPA (all fixed)
Holding offer of 17.5 from service company in Pune.
Does anybody have any reviews for this company for the s/w department?
How much should I ask?
What are the other ways I can negotiate? Like do they provide RSUs?
KLA Corporation
Thank you
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After ~20-30 min on a call, I stop paying attention.
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A squirrel just flashed me climbing my window 🥱
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New guilty pleasure: Indian Matchmaking on Netflix
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He’s either stressed. Or bored. Or most likely both. Sustaining a sexual spark is really really hard. Both parties tend to start taking each other for granted. Sex become less exciting, less interesting, and sometimes just not worth it. Sounds like your bf has gotten to that point.
That’s fair. How would you recommend solving this? Kinky costumes and role playing? We used to do a lot of that but I stopped due to his lack of interest.
I would happily surprise him with an outfit but I’m scared he’ll just reject me and feel like a loser having to change.
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I’ve been in this exact situation with my husband (when we were dating). Have you two talked about the fact that it is normal, in a committed relationship, to expect to have sex? Once you agree on that, you can each communicate how often you’d ideally have sex. Then you can compromise. My husband and I had to accept that my sex drive is higher than his but that we both deserve a satisfactory sex life. We have sex less often than I’d like but more often than he would if it were all up to him.
When we were dating, I stopped initiating sex bc it hurt my feelings to get “rejected.” I explained what I was doing and why so that it wasn’t just a passive aggressive move. How long would y’all go without if you stopped trying? I’m not saying this is the right answer but giving him a break from my pressure, allowed me to feel “wanted” when he was ready.
I did the “dress sexy and he’ll want it” thing and it didn’t work. In fact, he had expressed to me that his low sex drive made him feel inadequate so when I dressed up, that made him feel even worse (hence why waiting for him to initiate was the better approach for us). These are just my experiences - I wish the best for you!!
I’m so glad to hear it worked out for you two! We did have the convo and I would be happy if we had sex 1-2x/month. He said that was reasonable. But when time came he would always push it out. We’ve been dry for 3 months now. It’s frustrating since we cuddle all the time but whenever I take the next move it’s immediate rejection.
I’ll talk to him again and see what I could do differently to put him in the mood. We used to do it once a week and he would always initiate, now I feel like I’m desperate and begging.
Could he be depressed? It’s been a rough year (and a half), and between work stress, covid worries, and missing loved ones, maybe he’s just feeling down.
He says he misses his family and hasn’t been able to travel to see them. I do comfort him and understand. It’s taking a huge drag on my self esteem. 😔
During lockdowns I went through the same thing with my girlfriend and can really empathize with your boyfriend. I think the best thing you can do is to support him through his crazy schedule and give him time to decompress. At least in my case, the more my girlfriend brought up our dry spell, the more pressure and emasculating I felt - it took all the fun out of our sex life and a huge toll on our relationship. Sex felt more like a obligation/checklist item to keep her satisfied and I dreaded/was anxious every time she initiated anything.
Eventually I went to therapy (BetterHelp) and was able to sort through some things out and my girlfriend stopped pressuring me (which really helped a lot). Now we’re back to an active sex life and my sex drive is actually higher than hers now.
Thanks for sharing your POV. I suspect my boyfriend is feeling similar and the more I pressure him the more he’s turned off. He mentioned exactly as you said that it’s become a checklist item.
I’ll talk to him again and give him some space for the next month if my next move doesn’t work out.
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How old is he?
That’s a little suspect…
Haha we have both exited to industry few years ago. 😗
Rising Star
Stress and loss of testosterone around 40 could definitely do that. Even though he may initially get an erection, he may be nervous that he can’t hold it long and is worried about how you’ll react. Some woman internalize it and fear their sig other isn’t attracted to them but 90% of the time that isn’t the case. It’s just things stop working as well when you approach 40.
I can relate to this a bit, as I have been going through something less extreme but similar. It sounds like you’ve discussed this issue overall, but have you considered scheduling time? It doesn’t have to be a fixed time every week, but I find saying something like “I’d like to have sex with you tomorrow evening” will give enough notice that he can build it in as part of his plan and be prepared to be more in the mood perhaps.
It is a fine balance between feeling too scheduled and to spontaneous. That’s why I’ve found spontaneous suggestion of a time slightly in the future to be helpful.
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On top of what everyone else already said, how is his diet, exercise and sleep?
He hasn’t been sleeping very well due to work. Otherwise, he has a healthy diet and daily exercise.
He might have hypothyroidism
Good point… I’ll ask him to do his physical since he skipped out last year.
Just remember…it’s ok to leave a relationship if you have different needs. It sounds like his communication is very poor. Counseling?? Please don’t marry this man
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I’ve had this happen before. He’s likely telling you the truth it’s due to work stress. Try 100% to get him to start applying for jobs to attain a normal WLB. Be super supportive during his job search. Best of luck!
Pandemic plus work stress definitely can inhibit frequency - you’re together all the time there’s no mystery and excitement, but you both have to work at it. Relationships require work, things just don’t always flow seamlessly - the biggest thing here is whether he’s willing to work at it- it can’t just be you trying, you both have roles to play. Work is an important factor but it also can’t be an excuse. It sounds like he may be dealing with some anxiety and depression - that will kill libido- also the longer you go without sex the harder it becomes to get back in the groove - you may need to force yourselves to try to ignite the desire again
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Honestly, a no-pressure full body massage might be nice. Just something intimate that doesn't require him to "perform"
I like to give massages but you could also get professional couples massage
Also sometimes making out and being cuddly and having the rule that neither of you will use hands or anything to touch the other's genitals can be super erotic and just stimulate the fun in it again.
Genuinely, try being comfortable being sexual without the sex part and see if that relieves enough pressure to make sex more viable
In a reply above you mentioned that you’d been “inside the house since COVID and doing everything together”. There was a study recently that I read in, I think, the NYT than showed that the hyper-cohabitation (my word) of spending every waking and sleeping moment together has led to a decrease in sexual relations.
People need time apart as well as together for healthy relationships. So, this could be the cause but it’s also maybe not something he or you have considered. So he may be unable to understand/articulate the why and the “work stress” answer is easy/convenient.
Bottom line, it’s rarely one thing but rather a combination and the pandemic has had a significant impact.
As things open up, see about spending some time apart—go do your own things with friends or whatnot. Give each other some breathing room and see if that helps.
Therapy—for both of you—is probably also a good idea. The last 15 months have been mentally exhausting for almost everyone.