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1) almost undoubtedly they’re doing this stuff for your attention. Give them a huge hug when you see them winding up to do something bad, make lots of fun noises, and then distract them with something else
2) put them in day care of have play dates every day so they can burn good energy
3) strategically use screen time! But no YouTube, because YouTube inevitably leads to slapstick violent videos meant for kids and that’ll cause him to be even worse
Agree with above, it’s most likely about attention or power. How often do you involve your toddler in decision making (red pjs or blue ones?) and things around the house (can you wash this apple while I wash mine?)
And can never underestimate the importance of physical exercise. Mine also gets nutty in the winter when we’re cooped up.
We took the big little feelings course. https://biglittlefeelings.com/course/ While not a silver bullet, it at least grounded us in an approach for dealing with our toddler. Worth the money, imo.
This 100x
Reframing the situation helps. The line i repeat to myself often is "they're not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time"
How can better understand their perspective so that we help them?
I really enjoyed the book How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
I agree with some parenting styles today to try to resolve, be patient, redirect, etc., but at the end of the day, sometimes they need spanked (never out of anger).
Source: Dad to 3 (ages 7, 10, 12) and they all love me, respect me, and I often get compliments from others about how well behaved they are. I'm not a perfect parent by any means, but we've found a good balance of new school and old school.
Agree that it's possible without spanking, but I also think it varies by kid. They each respond differently to different punishment. My youngest has only ever been spanked once I believe, because it rarely escalates to that.
Highly recommend the book 'Hunt, Gather, Parent' Author has a challenging toddler and goes to live with 3 different cultures known for having helpful, considerate, and confident kids. Filled with good advice, real world anecdotes, and practical tips.
Echo those things above. Life is stressful for littles and they have a hard time processing. Without somewhere to direct their energy in a positive way, they will explode. Give them responsibility, and then TRUST them. There will be messes, you will pull your hair out, but worth it. This evening my 2yo helped me peel garlic for 20 straight minutes. Was it actually helpful? Not really. Messy? Very.
We got a lot of benefit from the book "Raising your spirited child". Gave a lot of great techniques to try to manage big feelings. The main thing it taught us is kids have no emotional regulators yet and acting like they do is not intentional, they just have no other outlet.
Distraction mostly worked for my hyperactive son. He had too much energy so everytime he threw tantrum or won't listen I would just bring up some random convo. Also when they are going nuts you can't discipline them. You have to talk when they are quite or in a mood to talk with you. I have to resort to little spanking because sometimes he would do things intentionly. Also boys are very tough compare to girls at early age. Girls become tough in teenage years.
There are a few things I would look at:
* Structure / Schedule
* Activity (indoor and outdoor play)
* Diet
* Sleep
* Parental Engagement
I have two boys and I notice more bad behavior when we lack structure, have too much screen time and not enough play, diets are not consistent (with good, whole foods), sleep is off, or a parent (or both) is stressed or not paying enough attention to the kids.
Sometimes kids also need to be corrected and face some authority, but a lot of things are beyond their control when they are that young.