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Wait till they’re at least 4-5mths old. And get talking cara babies guide. Convinced me to do and it’s e best decision we made. She also has an insta that will give you tips that’ll help in meantime. They have younger guides too to help pay a foundation for good sleep
I have the TCB PDF somewhere. DM me and I can track it down and send
8 weeks seems really early to start thinking about sleep training (I think I did around 6 months). My pediatrician put it this way and it helped: you have to learn how to go to sleep - this is teaching them those skills they will have forever. I didn’t plan on doing extinction sleep training but every time I went in it got him more upset so that’s what we did. It worked tray quickly but you need to commit. He’s been a great sleeper from then on. I put him alsleep awake and he goes right to sleep. But you gotta so whatever feels right for you and not look back (you might feel different when they’re a bit older - it’s hard to imagine with an 8 week old).
I could never stomach sleep training. “Let a small, defenseless baby cry themselves into exhaustion, feeling abandoned,” broke my heart. I switched to co-sleeping after that, first using an in-bed Snuggle Nest and then keeping baby close at hand in a portacrib near the bed, then just sleeping in the bed together when they were a little bigger. It did wonders for my rest, my partner’s rest, and peace of mind. Co-sleeping worked for me, keeping in mind that parents have to take precautions (no drinking, no smoking, no sleeping pills, no cold medication, no heavy blankets, no anything that will interfere with your body’s natural sense of there being a baby next to you). I was so exhausted trying to sleep train my first baby because everyone told me that was the only option, and I wished I’d have switched to co-sleeping earlier.
For me, I worked around the ebb and flow of my workload. I asked myself why and if I felt pressured to get a child out of my bed vs. why and if myself and my partner needed sleep. What worked for us was getting baby to sleep in the own room early at night, having much-needed couple time for a few hours, and then if and when baby woke up bringing them into our bed to co-sleep the rest of the night. Now that the last baby is a toddler they co-sleep a couple of nights a week, but it’s sporadic and starts naturally tapering off at a certain age.
Your baby is way too young for sleep training so you have time to think about it. What you can do is slowly start encouraging them to fall asleep in their bassinet/crib rather than by being rocked.
Rising Star
Weisbluth book for me. “Healthy sleep habits,
Happy child”.
Start 3-4 months at earliest. Begin as you intend to go on. And, remember that teaching your child to self soothe and sleep is a gift. They will use that skill life long and their childhood will be easier for it. A well rested child can be flexible and learn and grow better than a tired one.
(And you don’t leave them to scream, you go in over and over at longer intervals but you don’t pick them up. It’s not as draconian as people think.)
Hi! We started at 6 months, I believe the recommendation to sleep training is after 4 months and once your doctor approves. Honestly, look up some of the different approaches..it’s hard the first three nights but they get use to the routine just like any other routine quickly.
If it wasn’t for sleep training I would not be able to work from home, nap time allows me to get things done and sleeping at a consistent time at night allows me to catch up on anything personal “me time”. Good luck!
We started at 5-6 months. It was hard but our need for consistent nights of sleep was important. Took about a week for the baby to settle into the routine and we’re grateful we did it.
Twelve hours' sleep by 12 weeks old helped a lot. And what was specifically life changing in it was the dream feed. Essentially you take them out of the crib before you go to sleep, say 11pm for example, feed them 3-4 oz milk trying not to wake them, keeping them in a groggy state and placing them back into their crib after feeding. This helped my kids sleep a lot longer during the night at that age. Later on you slowly wean off the dream feed by providing less over time.
8 weeks is really young to do this. My ped recod 4-5 months as others have said so I’d talk to your doc. Right now I’d just focus on establishing the pre bedtime routine which will help when it is time.
We used the ‘sleep easy solution’ when it was time. Yes it was hard, but honestly we stuck to the method and both my kids slept through the night by night 3 and only the first night was as bad as I thought it would be. They’ve both been champion sleepers ever since. Can sleep anywhere when we travel and don’t need to worry about them with sitters or family. As for more words of encouragement...
When I told my parents nervously that we were thinking about sleep training they had no idea what I was even talking about. After explaining what it was my dad goes “Soo... you’re accepting that your child will experience a little discomfort so they develop an important life skill? Hell that just sounds like parenting to me”
Taking Cara babies. Teaches good sleep habits
We were advised not to try sleep training until at least 5 months, as their little brains can’t handle self-soothing until at least that age. We never officially did “sleep training” per se, but we always put her down in her bassinet sleepy but awake, and usually stayed with her, helping her get to sleep (or would pop in every couple of minutes).
Now she’s a 9-month-old who can *usually* happily self soothe (using her pacifier) and usually just rolls over and falls asleep after we put her down.
Hang in there! I found everything at 8 weeks was so hard! It’ll get much better soon!
Wait until they’re older. 8 weeks is too young. We did Ferber method at 6 months. I thought it would be torture, but after 2 nights we became big fans. Every kid is different, but ours took to it really well. Honestly got with the program with only an hour of crying each night. A much better proposition. If we backslid after travel or a cold, we’d start over and it’d be nipped in bud after a night or two.
We hired a virtual sleep trainer with both kids. The first started at 11 weeks. Years later when I started with my second, the trainer told me she learned that 3-4 months was too young and 5-6 months was ideal. My firstborn has trouble sleeping. And second falls asleep when her head hits the pillow. Not sure if that’s coincidence or a result. Both cried a lot during sleep training. But it’s worth it for their sake (to be able to sleep and self sooth back to sleep) and for your. For years they slept 12 hours a night and I don’t know how I would have gotten all my work and house work done if not for that. I have other moms that didn’t and their kids are up late and wake throughout the night. If I were a SAHM, I might have considered not sleep training and doing things like cosleeping. But working, I knew I needed to get my work and sleep done at specific times. So it was hard hearing them cry it out. But worth it for everyone. There are not cry it out methods but not as effective
Another vote for Taking Cara Babies. It’s not some cold turkey thing, it’s a process (starting right now) to help them get there on their own. The sooner you start, the better.
Read Baby Wise. I have two kiddos that sleep amazing following that book!
https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-baby-sleep-solution-suzy-giordano/1111518272
Worked like a charm but you have to follow it religiously.
I started sleep training at 10 weeks per my doctors recommendation. It took a week. It’s hard, but think of how you will both sleep better.
I love how everyone on the internet becomes a doctor once someone asks about sleep training.
That’s one thing, but then you have a handful of people saying you can’t do this before s months, and you need to do this at x months as if they are the actual authority.
The very very early days are so hard in so many ways so (if it helps you!) feel free to give yourself permission not to worry about this one for awhile yet. They will have a number of developments coming up that will change how they sleep pretty much regardless of what you do in the first 5-6 months.
Re: training: I think some kids do absolutely fine with it, and others are really not ready to handle it and people like to speak from their own experience but it might not match yours. From what I have read, CIO doesn’t *appear* to produce any lasting effects if the kid is otherwise getting their needs for connection met. If that’s what you want to do, it’ll probably be awful and then fine! For my (very sensitive) kid it didn’t feel right, and we were cosleeping by six months anyhow because that’s how I got the most sleep myself. He is three now and sleeping in his own bed every night just fine.
Here’s a book I really liked because it’s a very readable discussion of sleep “science” and other similar studies, I’ll warn you he’s a little patriarchal in tone on occasion (and some of that might be the translation/culture differences) but I generally found the info to be both interesting and high quality. https://a.co/4tucv45
Nope can’t do it. Came across this that made me feel better about my decision.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHNyWgNlm9f/?igshid=w2hvg0l2wkhr
Rising Star
I’ve seen folks in real life who don’t teach their kids to self soothe and sleep well. It does feel like a kindness to rock them to sleep when they are tiny, but these kids eventually can’t sleep on their own, consistently lose sleep, and then get to school age and are a mess. Tired, overtired, can’t nap, behavioral issues...The parents are also exhausted. But it’s not about you- you are willing to go the extra mile! But you don’t realize that going the extra mile in this case is helping your kiddo learn to fall asleep.
I encourage you to look at a wide range of books and find a consistent strategy that works for you. But if that strategy involves you being the one to soothe your child to sleep every night then you are in for so much more drama in the end.
Having a ten year old kid who can’t do sleepovers and is acting out at school and can’t enjoy vacations at all because of the change in routine is the opposite of a kindness. It’s heartbreaking. Every teacher, doctor and parent trying to help that kid will ask the same question first: “are they getting enough sleep?” It really is the key to so much child happiness. The parental relief is a side benefit.
We hewed to the “begin as you intend to go on” thing a lot. And we also did the loud house, not dark room thing. Kid is a sleep champ.
As a toddler we could tell her to go to sleep anywhere and she would (airport floor was my favorite-people were amazed and she was right as rain in the am at our destination.) As an older kid we could make bedtime about special stories and reading and not have drama.