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No you're completely within your right to feel frustrated by this. Have you considered talking to HR? Or just even telling your manager how those comments affected you? I think being open in this case is a good idea. That's completely inappropriate
Pro
Agree it is inappropriate for your boss to ask questions like this and especially to try to give you advice!
I've had several FMLAs over the years. It's completely inappropriate of them to question you. I don't know about your company, but mine uses a third party leave certification service. The purpose of this is to keep your employer out of seeing PHI. They do not have the right to ask you for PHI.
If they believe you have taken time that does not fall under the FMLA, they can appeal through the third party. The third party investigates, might ask for documentation (an appointment summary for example), and the third party determines if the absence was appropriate NOT your employer.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I have FMLA for my husband's chronic illness. He can't drive, he can't walk. I want to switch jobs, maybe to a work from home so I can at least hear if he falls or needs help, but you have to work somewhere for a year before you qualify for FMLA. Corporate America is not a great place to have a chronic illness or be a caregiver.
I don't think they should be allowed to ask that kind of question if you have FMLA. But on top of that, what a stupid question. Going to the ER would be a waste of time for a chronic condition unless you are having an acute emergency. I would try to brush it off though if you can, as long as your time off needs are being met appropriately and you don't feel like there is any kind of retaliation happening in your workload. Wishing you the best!
Rising Star
You are within your rights. It is completely inappropriate to ask questions like this, and I think you could go to HR if you feel uncomfortable.