Related Posts
Bowl Leader
Chief
Rising Star
More Posts
Coach
Chief
Breaking: Boris Johnson moved to ICU bc of COVID-19
Which AMD year did you prefer?
2018 👈 or 👉 2017
Anonymous User
Looking for a position in Las vegas !?
Bowl Leader
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
As someone who in my early 40’s is realizing I likely am neurodivergent, it’s been really hard to not feel jealousy for others followed by shame for many of my career mishaps. Burnout, isolation from the successful corporate cliques, people who can be friends with their coworkers, along with being fired from a high level position in my 30’s because of my “tone of speaking” which was taken as condescending and rude - which set my current path to a downward spiral. I have a lot of resentment for people who, like VP1 said, have supportive families and wealth, who were built up to be ruthless and take chances, likely because they always had an huge safety net. Women who can have the kids and the C-Suite, who look fabulous doing it, who can go to Pilates or tennis every day, who take 2 week vacations to the Maldives, who climb the ladder yearly while I can barely recover from a five day work week.
It’s not that I’m not happy for others, but the older I get, the more I see having that strong self determination that’s forged from childhood, a truly supportive (whether financially or emotionally) family base, and the ability to play the corporate games without fail, the more I see how rigged our society can be. What does bring me hope, however, is to remember that all that glitters isn’t always gold. And agreed comparison is the thief of joy. Someone else may be secretly envying your life, the simplicity, the beauty, from their ivory cage.
Trying to be more accepting my more unsavory emotions actually has been quite helpful. Accepting the jealousy, but recognizing that I’m jealous because part of me wants an aspect of what they have, and working towards that even if in the smallest ways. Sitting with my anger, acknowledging it, and trying to work through it. Lots of journaling, lots of self care through rest, diet, sleep, meditation, massage. Deep contemplation, acceptance, and visualization that I am here to likely experience loss for a deeper reason, and working with that. Faith.
I’m also neurodivergent, diagnosed relatively late, and had a lot of career setbacks similar to yours because of it. Sending hugs ❤️
I have felt the same sentiment and have felt the same shame. I wish I could give you some clarity, but the truth is that it’s not easy seeing others do better. Human nature-we know it’s not right. What I tell myself is that we all have our own journey, with our own dreams and aspirations. Where I am now is not where I was 20 years ago. I’m at a stage in my life where it’s okay to say, ‘hey, I had my moment’ and learn to let go. Oftentimes it’s not about the destination, but how we get there. I know it’s cheesy sounding, but the older I get the more that resonates with me. Comparing yourself to others truly is a thief of joy, and yes, I still do it. I just catch myself and tell myself I don’t have to. You got this!🫶🏼
I definitely do, especially when I see women getting showcased as pinnacles of glass-ceiling-shattering feminist achievement when it’s an open secret that they were able to do so because of money and support from wealthy fathers or husbands. It sometimes feel like there’s no path forward for women in the business world who don’t come from means.
And do I feel shame for this resentment? Absolutely.
I agree and have seen that for sure. Is it fair? No, but you and I know if things don’t quite work the way they should. The hardest thing I’ve had to accept is to focus on what I want and what makes me feel accomplished. The saying,”It’s not what you know but who you know’ will be forever the truth. You can be a genius but if you don’t have the right connections it can be challenging. I have always been too hard headed and don’t like to kiss ass (sorry for the expletive). Being amiable is not the same as being a ‘yes person.’ In retrospect, what was once important to me will change as you experience more things in your career. At the end of the day, remember no one will remember but you. So do the things that truly speak to you. Life is too short and there is always someone else waiting in the wings to take on that proverbial torch. Do what fulfills you and remember that life is so much more than a pat on your back from some rich fat cat. Do what makes you feel proud because that’s what you’ll remember, not making more money for Mr. Deep-pockets. Screw that!
Everyone has a season! Clap for others until it’s your time! It’s actually inspiring.
I truly understand how you feel. When feeling this way, you MUST affirm yourself until your time comes.
I've introduced women to an industry that I love and it seemed as if they excelled quicker than myself. I became a little jealous naturally, but it gave me motivation to create and focus on my own path. I later hired one of the woman as my coach. My business changed for the better! It is natural and human to be jealous of someone. However, it is unhealthy to remain there and wish harm on them. I have learned not to compare my insides, to other people's outsides. One never knows what someone had to go through to get to where they are... I truly believe what the higher power has for me will be for me!
I would say I have felt this occasionally in the past, but it's not common for me. I think a big part of this is that I just don't really care what other people are doing with their lives and careers. I don't have social media, and I try to focus on myself and what makes me happy.
What makes me feel jealous and petty is just generally seeing able bodied people do normal things (like when I'm at the airport people watching), and I know I feel this way because I can't. I have a hereditary physical disability that has no available treatments or cure, so it's just frustrating to not be able to do things.
I think the best way to approach this is to connect with people that have great characteristics… Learn from them… Maybe they learned from others as well… Women in the world need to be more sisterly like and not mean girls
I have, when I was younger, and it was 💯 due to my own uncertainty and lack of self esteem. It’s hard when you are younger and you are constantly comparing yourself to others. In fact, that’s a recipe for disaster (or at least, mental illness and extreme unhappiness). Once I did a lot of work on myself (including lots of therapy) I’ve learned to accept who and where I am. Now I’m genuinely focused on cheering for and lifting up other women - whether they need help or are crushing it themselves. And I’m proud of myself too.
We’re all “crushing it” in our own way, and we all have our own struggles. If we focus on helping each other where we can, we’ll all succeed even more.
I feel that way sometimes. I question my ability and am I enough. But I will say this sometimes I killing it and other times my team is. We celebrate each others wins.
It’s more about how you feel about yourself than how you really feel about them. What I can say is that once I stopped feeling competitive and petty, and actually feeling happy for my colleagues, that started to rub off and I stepped up my own game on loving myself. Negativity will eat you alive. Lift each other up - it works!!!!
Not specifically against women, but I meet a lot of men who are absolute idiots and raising millions or are put in top level positions who have no business being there. Meanwhile women, very broadly speaking, given similar education and experience, are far better organized, better people managers, better project managers, and work twice as hard at their jobs than many of their male counterparts. Now one group of women who I (very broadly) feel are put into positions of responsibility and power with similar skill sets as the men, are exceptionally attractive and well put together women. I have seen firsthand discrimination against highly skilled/experienced middle aged women who frankly look their age in favor of younger (30's-40's) more attractive women. I think too many men fall in a trap of hiring them into senior positions because they think with their other head. This of course is a broad generalization from personal experience.
F
I have felt jealous of other women. One in particular only because I asked her what I need to be doing differently to break the glass ceiling and she told me it was just luck. That she was lucky to have been put on high visibility projects. I am happy for her but it doesn’t stop me from also wanting that for myself.
Eventually I snap out of it but it’s definitely there and I hate that it’s there.