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I feel the same towards my husband. Not a mom yet. Must be more difficult ignoring children.
If I’m too tired and not giving 100% my son feels it and knows it. I would rather he know mommy needs extra rest sometimes than to just be on autopilot going through the motions and not truly present. I feel like he likes mommy at her best when she’s around and really participating. I also truly feel like he understands. You have to take care of yourself too and you’ll be a better mama for it. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
This job really can take a lot out of us. Time management at home is really important for me to find the best of both worlds. I will give the kids absolutely uninterrupted time and then make some time for myself to just zone out and decompress for a little bit. Doesn’t always work out perfectly but something that has helped me at times.
I feel the exact same way, I really struggle with not feeling guilty about it too. I just remind myself that I need to take care of my own wellbeing in order to be the parent that my kids deserve. I also sometimes try to plan some sort of fun activity during the week to bond with my kids and give them a little extra treat.
I have an 18 yr old now, graduating, so not little and so demanding..however, I used to have an hour drive to/from work when she was younger. I hated the drive, but after I switched jobs and didn't have that drive, I realized it was my decompression in the evenings between work and "mom". And man, did I need that. So then I was drained for a long time, same as you. Felt terrible for ignoring and then felt even worse bc I couldn't ignore and didn't have anything left in me. So I started adding more time in to my drive on the way home. Just going the long way, or around the block a few extra times. Then as she got really older I would come straight home, just sit out in my car in the driveway, listen to some music and she understood I needed that 10 min, sometimes 30 lol. It will get better momma 💖
I felt that often with my last job ...it was a lot of stress, high expectations with dwindling staff numbers and increasing responsibilities and metrics we were being held to. Then I discovered in COVID if I said "you don't wanna be near me in human go shower and then we can play/talk/have supper." They were understanding. So I still used it even if it wasn't COVID related. .."you don't wanna be near me right now I'm gonna go shower this off." Sometimes "this" was the weight of the day or actual yuck..it didn't matter ..they understood and I got time to decompress.
Now I work in a far different role... occasionally I still have a day like that...and while I am not bedside I still see patients so the shower excuse still works. They don't have to understand why I'm in there...they are accepting of it, I get what I need. If I was honest.... people that don't work period yet alone work in healthcare don't understand that feeling.
Chief
Oh so hard as a mom but sometimes we just want silence I get it …. Not easy as a mom though
Rising Star
Being a mom and working is hard !