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Don’t soften. Let them get uncomfortable. The fact that bluntness is only a problem when it comes from women is their bias to fix
It’s a two-way street.
I’m male and hear how I’m too direct all the time.
I’ve not found success in advocating for much at J&J as the company praises talk over action.
If they want softer, I’d give it to them…while you look for your next role.