“If she wants children and a job, a woman’s life is only as good as the man or woman she marries.” This article was posted in the Women in Law Bowl, but I think it might be helpful for the broader audience (to include all genders, sexual orientations etc.). I know the pandemic has been particularly hard on mothers. Women have been leaving the workforce in droves. I am hopeful that if you are married to/in relation with a mother or employ people with children you will read and consider this.
https://www.marieclaire.com/career-advice/a34019494/caitlin-moran-more-than-a-woman-interview/
It’s a great article and very true. I see a lot of husbands holding back their wives careers or expecting them to work and do everything around the house. But I think there are often other considerations that they author leaves out. Can the couple afford childcare? Is the husband offering to take on this expense or refusing even though able? I also think that sometimes, and especially when we’re talking about women leaving the workforce because of the pandemic, if splitting duties is not enough and childcare not an option and someone has to quit, I imagine women are quitting because they make less money. Which could be for inequality reasons, which is of course terrible, but sometimes other reasons like age and career type. My husband and I are both lawyers but he’s 10 years older and took a riskier more ambitious path. He makes five times what I make. He fully supports my career, helps with the kids, and pays for housekeeper and babysitting while we’re at work. He doesn’t want me to quit. But if one of us had to quit at some point there’s no doubt in my mind it would be me because his career is more important than mine simply for the fact that we can’t live on my salary.
My husband earns twice what I do and my career was delayed while he was establishing his. While he’s respectful of my career, he has always unconsciously signaled that his is more important than mine, so we’ve had to have a few conversations about that recently, when I found myself taking on more and more of the domestic responsibilities due to school closures and WFH. I think it’s a good idea to set expectations early on and speak up for yourself if you need more support along the way. It’s never a good idea to assume the other person will see how much you’re doing and naturally pitch in, or conversely, that the fact they are not currently helping out means you have to do it all. That’s just a recipe for burnout and resentment.
Thanks so much for sharing this!