Rising Star
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I’ll be 62 this summer… the oldest 🐟. I’ve been happily married a long time so not alone, but a person’s comfort being alone is very individual. You’ll also know yourself a lot better by the time your 60. Personally, if I were alone, I’d be very comfortable with that. I’d also be happy if I ended meeting someone. But I’m very independent by nature.
Oh nooooooo! I’m not the oldest! I’ll now have to call myself second-oldest. Glad to meet you. We should compare notes.
Hahaha, love that you think 60 is old. It doesn't have to be. You'll make friends along the way and keep the good ones. 60 is a better extension of your 50s which is the better extension of your 40s and your 40s is when it all clicks. You'll realize you shouldn't have sweated your 20s and 30s so much because all that crap doesn't matter. You'll know what you like and do that because you've come into your own. That's what keeps you happy. No other person is responsible for your happiness but you.
Director 1, anyone born before you is older. OLD is a state of mind and very subjective.
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Of course.
Signed, - single 40 something year old
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I only mentioned age bc OP did. I don’t think I’m old at all.
Community Builder
Of course. You can be part of groups you’re involved in, or move into a senior living community area where there are lots of senior things to do. I am sure there would be plenty to do and if you’re a man you’ll have all the dates you can handle as you get older.
Rising Star
My friend's mom found her partner at 56
I’m 34 and plan on staying single for the rest of my life. This question depends on how you derive happiness. To me happiness is a peace of mind. Being physically healthy, and financially and mentally stable. Also, not being worried with things that are above my control.
Also, you have to ask yourself does being partnered make you happy, or is that what the world tells us is going to make us happy. People and things don’t guarantee happiness.
I think you’re smart to be worried. Times flies after college/early 20s and some people do end up alone. I worry as well and may try to settle for the next good person that comes along who is compatible. If you want kids, age is a factor. Women’s clocks are ticking and even if women freeze their eggs, do people really want to be old parents? I don’t.
OP get back out there and talk to people. Try matchmaking services if you can afford it and don’t give up. Oh, and some people end up divorced or widowed, but it’s great to experience things and enjoy the ride. I hope you find love very soon OP.
You could just as well find love of your life at 35 and then lose them at 40, so end up single at 60.
Conversation Starter
Timely in light of this post:
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/27/us/living-alone-aging.amp.html
Depends on the person, but my view is that jappiness is an individual thing
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Just settle in the next couple of years for someone that you think you can build a life with. Don’t play the “hope” game into your 40s, 50s and 60s. Most people (who have never been married and are still single) probably aren’t well-suited for being single at 60.
Chief
Yes… a partner is not the magic key to happiness; they are more like a supplement. Plenty of 60 year olds are in happy relationships, and plenty have a partner that drives them crazy. You can and should find other things in life that fulfill you - other relationships (family, friends, community, volunteering, church) and hobbies. People leave our lives all the time (death, divorce) so even if you meet someone in your 20’s/30’s, there’s no guarantee you’ll be together at 60, and while you should be somewhat reliant on your partner, you also need to have a life outside of them that can fulfill you too.
I have a friend that is 55. She’s a partner in her law firm and is relatively successful. She has never been married or has kids. She seems to have fun with her book club, her dog, visiting relatives and going on trips.
Well, it’s a lot better than spending your life with the wrong one
Chief
Guy I know married at 55 about 10 years ago. They couldn’t be happier it appears.
Pro
Yes, unless your happiness is based solely on having others around. If that’s the case then a romantic partner isn’t the only type of relationship that matters. Hopefully you have friends/family that matter to you and bring you some happiness. The relationship with yourself is most important. If you can be happy alone then depending on others is risky since they can come/go as they please.
Enthusiast
One of my good friends met and married the love of her life in her late 20s. They were married for 20+ years. He just died of cancer a few months ago and now she is a widow in her early 50s. You never know what will happen. You could still be alone at 60.
I wouldn't be happy but I've always needed a partner since I was 22. I'm 35 now.
Rising Star
I think you should find happiness in yourself and your own life first and always, before sharing a life with someone else. I don’t think we need anyone else to feel loved and fulfilled.