I’m 29 F married 1 year to 30 M. I waited until marriage to have sex (husband had lots of sex before meeting me). Since marriage I’ve done absolutely everything in my power to make sure he is happy in bed (and he has lots of requests/demands) - but I am completely unsatisfied. I’ve orgasmed maybe max 5 times in 1 year of marriage. I feel so frustrated that I saved myself for a this - I feel like I’ll go through my entire life without any sexual satisfaction. Is this normal? Husband thinks woman

If you can get yourself off, and he can't, don't be afraid to give instructions.

Husband here, it sounds like this dude doesn’t have a clue and is mean (e.g. husband thinks woman doesn’t need to orgasm)

If speaking to him is safe do it. He needs to know what is working and what is not. Focusing on what did work those 5 times is a great start and can help keep his ego intact.

I guess this is on you both though. Where is the communication? How does he “not know” you aren’t fulfilled? Is he that big of a douche?

As a dude the creed for myself is get her finished before thinking about getting mine

(Don’t) don’t need to orgasm, etc.

Maybe try incorporating a toy into your sessions. Increased likelihood to orgasm and less responsibility on him

Buy a vibrator, and don’t just use it alone

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I’m sorry for your situation I’m just laughing because I’m not a virgin and in all my years I’ve yet to find a man that can make cum. So I feel like this is the unsatisfying sex life of a lot of woman. Hence the show sex in the city. Do you enjoy it at all? Your husband is absolutely wrong on women not being able to cum. I think that him saying that is telling more about his experience than yours. What I think would help (and I hate that I’m asking you to fix it) but spend some time by yourself trying to get yourself there. Figure out what you like and then teach your husband because for some odd reason he doesn’t seem to want take initiative

So more context: I’ve told him for months that I’m super unsatisfied (nice calm conversations, now more bitter conversations). He sometimes says women don’t need to, he sometimes says he’ll try, he sometimes apologizes - but end result is when it comes to the moment he takes what he needs and falls asleep every single time :(

It's definitely not normal to feel unsatisfied after a year of marriage, especially when you're putting in a lot of effort. Here are some tips that might help:

* Communicate openly with your husband. Explain how you're feeling and that you're not reaching orgasm.
* Focus on what works for you. Tell him what kind of touch you enjoy and how you want to be stimulated.
* Explore together. Read books or articles on female sexuality together. Or may be some kind of hobby that interests both of you.
* Consider couples counseling. A therapist can help you explore the root of the issue and find solutions.

I can totally understand your situation and let me tell you this is normal, things change after marriage and we have to take charge of our life. Prior marriage (2 years) my wife was so much interested in me, and used to do a lot of stuff but post marriage it's like I've been taken up for granted but I didn't stop and still I'm doing my best.

Remember, your sexual satisfaction is important. Don't wait to address this.

This too shall pass, cheers 🥂

It's not normal or acceptable for your sexual satisfaction to be disregarded in your marriage. Sexual fulfillment is important for both partners, and your needs and desires are just as valid as his. Open communication about your feelings and needs is crucial. Here are a few steps you can take:

1. Have an Honest Conversation: Share your feelings with your husband openly and honestly. Explain how important your sexual satisfaction is and that you need him to be more attentive to your needs.

2. Seek Education: Encourage both of you to learn more about female sexuality. There are many resources, books, and online content that can provide valuable insights into how to achieve mutual satisfaction.

3. Couples Therapy: Consider seeing a sex therapist or couples counselor. A professional can help facilitate the conversation and provide strategies to improve your sexual relationship.

4. Self-Exploration: Spend time understanding what pleases you and communicate this to your husband. Mutual exploration can be a way to discover new ways to achieve pleasure together.

5. Mutual Effort: Make sure he understands that a satisfying sexual relationship requires effort from both partners. It's about mutual pleasure and respect.

Remember, your pleasure and satisfaction is important, and it's not to be ignored.

Also watch this Netflix series, ideally WITH him! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbtcUPJ_N4U&pp=ygUeUHJpbmNpcGxlcyBvZiBwbGVhc3VyZSB0cmFpbGVy

Maybe I’ll be a petty Betty here but I would stop doing anything special for him. No oral, no exciting positions, NADA / nothing ….
I would tell him to put in some work to get you in the right place to cum together or that you need to be satisfied first before he is. Period. If he can do that, great and you can balance things out from there. A marriage should be a partnership and that includes sexual satisfaction

It's possible that he is just insecure about not being able to make you cum and that's why he isn't asking you or talking to about it directly. I find that it's embarrassing or hard for men to ask for help and so if it doesn't happen easily they don't always know how to make it work. Try to have honest conversations about this stuff. To be honest this is why I would have never waited til marriage to figure this out, but regardless you can work on it together with good communication (and maybe therapy)!

Yikes! I guess for starters, how are things with the rest of your marriage? Is your husband selfish and demanding in other aspects of your marriage or do you have a partnership? I would suggest couples counseling or sexing a couples sex therapist. It is right that your husband makes demands on you and I am worried for your wellbeing.

I think you need to communicate first, a good mood and atmosphere will be of greater help

What exactly is the problem? He is not staying lon ger in the bed or he doesn't care? If it's the first one, you can try a couple of things like foreplay and all and that should help.

At your age, this doesn’t sound sustainable. I know it may be hard, but before the relationship goes much further you should consider getting out. This is the smoke in a fire of how he will treat you for your whole life.

Clit play is important for orgasm. Women can't orgasm with penetration.

Thanks all.

Definitely not normal.

In 15 years of being together my husband always makes sure I orgasm at least once before he does.

Don’t be afraid to give your husband direction - you know your body and what you like better than anyone.

OP: I’ll be honest, I think this is a very wrong forum to vent. There are professionals who specialize in this. Worst case scenario, self-help guides. But, shaming him is not the answer, because he will eventually tell you that it’s a “you” problem if you don’t show him a solution he can follow step-by-step. Which you didn’t, and expected him to read your mind. You really need to concentrate on what brings you pleasure specifically, document it in detail, and first try to see if you can pleasure yourself before coitus. See if it even works. If it does, do it a few times imagining him, and then drag him into the bedroom. If he’ll be pleasantly surprised, explain that you need some extra assistance and need his help (foreplay) in the future. Make sure to reward him properly, until it becomes something he loos forward to.

But, like I said, talk to professional - there are some women I met that will orgasm within 3-4 minutes of active coitus only (and they don’t even want nothing else), and others will require at least 20+minutes to reach their apex, and barely get any pleasure from active penetration.