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Them pinging you at night and on weekends doesn’t mean that you should be online at those hours. If it works for them fine but it clearly doesn’t work for you.
I’d say a clear conversation with the SM would make sense - to agree on ways of working and how things should be handled. Please stand up for yourself
That's miserable... I have seen this kind of toxicity and that's why I'm trying to leave public accounting myself. If you love what you do and are on board with the culture except that you're expecting, I'd say set clear boundaries now (even if you need a doctor's note), otherwise - try to find a job with better work life balance. There are plenty in-house roles like that. I've been applying like crazy these past few months. Just what I've been doing. If I was having a baby, I'd try to find another job that starts as soon as parental leave ends.
Communicate your boundaries and, if you haven't already, let them know you're expecting and your work style has to look different for the time being. Baby always comes first!
Yeah let them know you’re pregnant asap, you’re in a protected class as soon as they know too. I’m going thru the same thing right now and luckily my team is super family friendly. If the people you work with are also parents, they will understand and will take it easier on you.
For now, don’t worry the late night pings. I’m typically a night owl for work too, but I never expect my team to respond if it’s super late, I just have to send a message before I forget. Just respond in the morning. You need your sleep to combat the nausea.
Put your baby first! The baby is also feeling your daily stress and that anxiety of receiving those pings on weekends or late 😔.. One colleague of mine, was scheduled to go on Maternity leave like in July but due to some health issues, stress and all, the doctor asked her to stop working for the well being of the baby and gave her a doctor’s note to go in sick leave like 2 months before she was due. Your team should be understanding
Unfortunately this is when women have to make hard decisions that most men just don't understand. I went to industry and then went part time after my first baby was born extremely premature. I stayed PT for 10 years. It was very very worth it to me, to be present in their lives while they are young. I had 4 children in those years. Now I'm a manager with that same company in industry, fully remote, and making $180k. Could I be partner already had I stayed in PA and put my children in daycare? Absolutely. Would I go back and change any of my decisions? Absolutely not. After the baby is born, take time and decide what works for you.
For your next baby, try to get pregnant on 4/16.
(I'm joking.)
I literally conceived on 10/15 and it’s gonna be really ideal for missing that fall busy season 😂
I left KPMG after my first child because of experience similar to yours. Despite setting clear boundaries, leadership didn’t care and would set up calls at anytime of the day and even weekends. Even when I was pregnant, they were still expecting me to work til 1am.
I’m at a mid tier firm now and it’s more family friendly. At least for my group, the partners are active parents. So they set the tone. I don’t work when my kid is back from daycare until they go to sleep. I only work weekends when my kid sleeps and projects are due Monday.
There are ex big-4 at the firm who try to bring their old ways by scheduling evening calls or calls on a holiday and weekends. It’s frowned upon by the partners in my group.
Don’t be afraid to try a mid tier firm. The work is as challenging and they also have some cool clients. If you really miss big4, you can always go back.
Love this SM and MD. Shoring up efforts aggressively. This is what keeps EY going. I have worked at KPMG, they are a much slower firm than EY. Slow to react, slower in getting new accounts - resultant are rounds of layoff at KPMG. One thing is for sure - if there is a sense of too much of peace or too much of work life balance per se while being at a Big4 - then surely something is amiss.
I’ve worked at Deloitte for 24 years and honestly have never faced this. So you need to be online 8 am-midnight in the event you’re needed?! Um no