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Maybe your spouse should get a job.
This post is why I hate advertising. I know I’m privileged— I have a well-paying job, a great girlfriend, a loving family, a healthy body...
But I can’t shake the feeling that my job (the job that wants my time and my soul) is threatening to destroy everything that is good in my life.
If you’re the breadwinner, your SO needs to have more sympathy for your schedule - full stop. Sit down and have an honest conversation about how tough the job market is, and what you can both do to feel more appreciated.
Lay down the law? Christ AD1.
Relationships are not just dual effort, but they are also a give and take. You don’t get to make demands like that and still have a healthy relationship. Sounds like more open communication between the two of you would help. Talking about your goals, what changes you’d like to make, making some effort to adjust your schedule or to get a new job might help a lot.
Please seek a therapist to discuss this with - both you and your SO need to go.
Is there a child in the picture? I'm a big believer in family first, agencies come and go. The people you love, and who love you, are all you have
HCP1, exactly! I feel sad that so many answers here are “Screw your relationship! Your goals first!” when the true is that a goal with no one to share the rewards in the end, is the saddest thing that could happen to a human being.
I would never choose career over my family.
I am all about saying “no” to work. But lately, with the amount of layoffs in NYC, it has been tough saying “no”.
Sounds like you need to lay down the law and make your man/woman know what the deal is.
If you are the sole provider and your significant other is being unreasonable then they either need to give you some space while you bring it home or get to work so you don’t have to do it so much.
Relationships are a dual effort.
I'd say if you want to keep spouse +job why don't you try to say no to work? I mean if the other alternative is to quit try to put boundaries at work. The worst that could happen you get fired but if you are going to leave anyway then there are no risks. Also I doubt that they would fire you for saying no. Don't let a job ruin your relationships it's not worth it.
I think you and your partner need to have some honest discussions about your relationship. Find the root cause of your problems and develop a plan to fix it. Perhaps a career shift and slight downgrade in lifestyle could be an option. If you are both committed to the relationship then you should be able to work together to find a solution, likely something that means concessions from both of you. Also, you need to prioritize your family over work. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do your job well, but you can do your job well without committing all of your time to it. Perhaps find people in your social circle or network that have balanced work/family and get some tips. Best of luck. I hope you and your family make it through this.
Freeeeeeeeelance and pray
Similar situation. Had to quit my job to freelance and the first month was tough financially. But no money is worth quality family time.
It’s not the job that’s ending your marriage. It’s you. If you really want the marriage to work, you’ll find a way to prioritize and fix it.
I feel for you. I'd suggest looking for a new gig. You deserve better. There are agencies who do good work and respect work/life balance. (Yes they are few and far between but they do exist.) Life is too short for this always-on nonstop agency fuckery.
Have you tried explaining this to your significant other? What does he or she say? This is what the industry expects unfortunately.
Please take what I say with a grain of salt. Just reinforcing the idea that OP should not feel so up against the wall and should stick up for him-/her- self. I don’t make demands in my relationship but my SO also understands that I bring it home and it takes work.
Make time for work and for yourself and for others. In the end only relationships with people you respect matter, wherever you may find them.
I completely understand how jobs can interfere with personal lives, but to be honest, I just don’t understand why your jobless significant other is mad you’re busy with work...
Why will you lose your marriage? The hours?
Yes.