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hello fishes,
need some advice.
my current ctc is 16 with 5.6 years of experience. I was a contract hire and parent company wants to hire me.
company is service based company.
my current title is senior analyst but they want to make me manager.
they are skipping tech lead and team lead positions.
they are ready to change 5 days working from earlier 6 days working.
they are asking me my expectations.
we are on client location and there is no one above us. Also team is not technically sound.FSS
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Had my son this year 1 month before turning 37. It isn't too old, but you need to reconcile yourself to a few things:
1- Yes, you will be wanting to retire before your kid is fully settled in life. You're going to be "old wise dad". You may not be so active by the time grandkids come along.
2- Many (by no means all...all my friends are having first kids around this time) of the other moms and dads are much younger than you. Don't sweat it.
Disadvantage: you are probably starting to feel your age. Having an infant at our age SUCKS. Having interrupted and shortened sleep is brutal. Crawling around on the ground is brutal. Having your well-established routine disrupted/destroyed is very difficult.
Advantage: You are confident in who you are. You are past most of the party years (or at least most of the FOMO). You are financially sound.
Those advantages make up for the aches and pains, low energy etc.
Have a kid when it is right for you and your partner - doesn't so much matter how old you are.
This is a great summary. I had my first at 26 and have a 7mo now at 36. Taking care of an infant is much hard now since the little guy doesn’t sleep at all. I feel guilty, but love traveling during the week so I can get some sleep.
That said, we’re pretty much set in life now with an awesome house and decent retirement fund. Paying for college will be a nightmare, but I don’t have nearly the financial worry I did at 26.
Got you all beat. My eldest was born when I was 40, and my fourth when I was 50.
I don't feel 25 anymore, but nor do I feel or act my age. They definitely take some out of you, but I feel they have also helped me stay young.
I’m with A2. Became a dad at age 41. Second kid at age 46. I love that I took this step in life. Yes it is hard, but having kids is hard no matter how old you are. Go into this with open eyes, but if you want this, do it. You will not regret it.
I had my first at 36 and second at 38. Couldn’t be happier.
I am saying no to third though. My (younger) wife wants another. Feels like I have energy for third but it is a big financial impact. I’m being selfish and don’t want to delay my ability to retire.
I think that’s pretty good summary A1. I have a 3 week old. I’m 38, spouse is 41. I joke that the day he graduates from HS we will also put the house up for sale to head to our retirement destination. I have a number of friends and people in our area who had kids a bit later, however. It is more of a trend now. My parents were 34 and 40 when I was born actually. The main thing I see is kid will get not too terribly long time with his grandparents. Otherwise I’m up for it and you make it work because you decide you don’t want to miss out on one of life’s greatest experiences. The reasons we were late to the party are complex and this was really the first available opportunity for us in life to have kids, so carpe diem.
A. Who the hell knows what settled in life means. Some 16 year olds are super mature and some 36 year olds can’t be trusted to even show up on time. Shouldn’t be a factor unless you are at least ten years older.
B. Nah, you’re not too old, but delaying further will make it harder.
C. People these days are younger than they used to be. 36 year olds, even parents, act a ton younger than their parents generation. Generally speaking they are healthier and in better physical condition so long as they keep themselves up.
D. If you’re the female, I wouldn’t wait. Gets tons harder to conceive as you get older and the risk for abnormalities skyrockets over 40. All babies are gifts, but the difficulty of raising a downs baby like a friend of ours did was exponentially harder.
E. Don’t miss an opportunity to have kids if you want kids. They’re the beat thing that ever happened to me and would be even if I had them a bit later like you (had mine at 30/32, wife the same age).
Thanks for the positive vibes all
Had our first one last year when I was 35. Probably a few years late, but to each his own! Load up that 529 to the extent you can!
I met someone who became father at the age of 64. So, you shouldn’t even worry! :)
35 and second on the way - nah your totally fine
Ha what is this race to the grave everyone is in, I’m 44 just had a daughter...Stop listening to people tell you your too old, do what you want to do
Slightly different take here. We had our first when I was 36 and our second 9 months ago. Considering a third. Yes I've found it exhausting from a no sleep etc stand point but the whole 'seeing the world through a child's eyes' thing is real and very energizing. It's also helped me get better control and prioritization over my work and manage my time and energy better as well. I also never resented the loss of freedom either because as others have said I had done a ton of traveling etc when younger and we still do.