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My partner used to get upset when I said I wasn’t necessarily aiming for marriage. As the years have passed, I am more interested in it as it legally ties the two of us together and more easily allows us rights if something bad were to happen to one of us. I also see that although I feel committed to my partner, a wedding will be a symbolic way to show our commitment to each other and be something we can reflect on in our future. Before, my justification was that I didn’t need that to be committed to my partner long term and feel like a unit/family. It felt very traditional (like why does everyone feel the need to do this?) and I knew how the wedding industry can essentially feel like a scam with how everything wedding related gets marked up.
It’s only been about 4 years so maybe not as long-term as you are looking for. We’ve lived together for 3.5 years and have talked about our future constantly from the beginning (including marriage). I want children eventually which is a big reason why marriage is important to my partner. Both sets of our parents are still married and don’t seem to have major issues so that aspect wasn’t a part of my reasoning.
Having similar convo over here, though I’m divorced (w adult children) so that plays into his reservation … i think we will marry w a prenup eventually
if financial, legal, tax planning etc. circumstances justify it, then yeah marriage is valuable as more than a label for society.
if the symbolic binding of two people to each other is important to you personally, then yeah again marriage is valuable as more than a label to society.
but personally, i also feel there can be so much more significance in waking up every day next to someone knowing it’s because i choose to be there for the long haul even without having executed a contract legally marrying us.
My partner doesn’t want to get married because he’d feel he need to introduce me to his fam at that point
Only to his mum who is in a v homophobic country in Africa .
I am and we think the same way as your partner. But the legal rationale as we get older will likely lead to a very low key signing event this year or next