Someone I’ve started seeing uses they/them pronouns. I’m trying my best but still feel like I make mistakes. When I want to address them is it ok to say how are you or should I say how are they?

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I think “how are you” is good because “you” is gender neutral. “They” is in place of a gender pronoun like “he/she” since english assigns gender in pronouns. If you are referring to the person in a sentence use “[Name] or they” are (...rest of sentence). I’m gay and don’t have experience with this, so I am logically thinking through this comment. Anyone please feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

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“How are you” is correct cause saying “how are they” refers to plural they/them. Also if you replace it with “she” or “he,” it doesn’t make sense.

Also I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I use they/them, but sometimes, I get it wrong myself cause I’ve spent my whole life using my old pronouns. I appreciate it when someone is at least trying, so it’s ok to make mistakes. It’s completely different when someone intentionally uses the wrong ones.

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You might be overthinking this, but it’s really nice that you’re being thoughtful and considerate. I’m not sure what the “correct answer” is, but do what you feel is right. You are clearly being respectful and giving it your best. I’d think that you would be ok. As long as you’re trying, you’re fine.

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Am I overthinking this?

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Agree with what was said above, but I also think it’s okay to ask if you aren’t sure!

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Think of it as a set of two people

He/she is = they are
Him/her = them
His/hers = theirs
They are = they are
Theirs = theirs
You = you
Yours = yours

I would also bet that he uses we when referring to something that only he has done

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Thanks everyone! Appreciate the kindness ☺️

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