I really love my boyfriend but I think I’ve started to lose the sexual attraction (find myself avoiding wanting to do anything sexually). Anyone have advice or go through something similar? Is it done

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

The spark doesn’t last forever, you have to work at it all the time. Make sure you both are communicating and still making an effort to be sexy and such for each other. Mixing things up in bed also helps a lot (role playing, toys, a third/fourth person etc.). Generally keeping an open mind when communicating is key. Speaking from experience here - I was with someone for nearly 8 years and left me because he claimed he was never attracted to me, which apart from being a delusional lie, was a function of not having an open mind about how one has to continually work on the physical part of a relationship just as much as everything else. Mind you both of us generally look much better now than we did when we first met, I think - physically I mean, and we looked just fine we we met too, we both just got a bit leaner/musclier since - so while taking care of oneself is certainly important, having an open mind and communicating about ones/needs is probably more important.

likesmart

Getting really fit helps on both ends

likefunny

Frankly staying/getting in shape helps oneself feel better about oneself which is probably more important than anything else. It could help keep/reignite mutual attraction but it’s definitely not a given. For my ex and I, getting in better shape through our relationship made my ex more superficial and more concerned with his looks and aging I think, which was the beginning of the end. He found stupid things to find “unattractive” about me and then got annoyed when others hit on me or expressed their attraction towards me. It was all little things but clearly not healthy.

like

I’ve been married to my husband for about 4 years and this happened to us around year 2. For ref, I’m 28 and he’s 37, so there’s definitely some hormonal discord at play. But the key to long term desire is creating spaces where eroticism can flourish. I could write novels about it but fortunately, Esther Perel already has. Read “mating in captivity” and “the state of affairs” for some truly life-changing analysis on this exact topic.

likesmart

This happened with my partner and me. Ultimately we decided sex isn’t the main driver of our relationship. We have figured out other ways to appreciate each other physically.

It takes a tough conversation, an open mind, and a little bit of time to work through it.

I would try identifying what the 2-3 most important aspects of a relationship are to you and ask yourself if you will be able to satisfy them in the future. If you can’t, but can elsewhere then you are done. While sex is a main driver for many, it can surprise others to discover that it’s not as important as they once believed.

likehelpful

Talk to him and figure out what’s going on. It’s only done if you decide that it’s done. If you can identify why your drive is down and work out with your partner how you want to address it, it doesn’t need to be “done”.

like

Happens to heteros all the time. It’s called growing old together. Enjoy the companionship. And if either or both of you find yourself desirable to others, consider an open relationship. Happy to help if needed.

like

How much time are you spending on porn or hookups or just fantasising about other experiences? If lots, you have to find ways to combine real life with eroticism. If none, then maybe it’s something about your mood/health overall

like

I went through this and realized that our relationship dynamics were also a key factor. We have since split and are living apart but are now still in contact everyday and meet once every one or two weeks if possible. We still love each other but in a different way, and I personally think that it’s okay if relationships evolve.

like

I feel like this is how my relationship is trending toward. Sometimes, we would go weeks without doing anything. I don’t know if that’s normal.

like

I get a hair cut twice a month :)

Set the mood! Candles, incense/flowers, music, foreplay! My girlfriend and I are both below-average-libido. And this works for us every time.

like

Open relationship time

like

Going through the same thing here.

like

Following this

Has he gotten out of shape? Or is everything the same but the spark is gone?

Breakup. The BF did this to me for 2 years. It’s not going to work

Too much porn or weed can cause this.

Related Posts

How does Moses make his coffee?

like

How do you find out if you have a mental issue, or you just suck at certain things? I’m apprehensive of seeing a therapist - maybe just an innate mistrust of people who have everything to benefit by convincing me I have a problem.

like

Please help with likes so that I can DM

Thank you for 💜

like

Hello fellow fishes, I am contemplating an offer from UBS. I am not too excited by the compensation so wondering if i should join for the hike and bonuses. Any experienced fish can talk about the general hike trends and bonus payout at UBS India

like

Dumped all coins before the big drop today except OMG and AST. Feeling good. Going to take investment and put profits into LTC and BTC ( later move to alts. Thinking req and maybe xlm if low enough)..

like

Any ideas on JPMC projects in Virtusa... The work life balance in it?

like

I think I like like my FWB… or I just need someone new to think about 🙊

likesmarthelpfulfunny

Hi Guys,

Can someone help me know the ways to get a project release in Accenture. I tried my level best in convincing my manager but they aren’t ready to leave as I’m the crucial resource.

1) My reasons for release request is that no timely promotions/recognitions inspite of being imp resource.
2) Learning scope is too low

like

Hi team ,

I have started working from jul2019 and I have filed my tax return for 2020 and 2021 tax years.


However I note that there was withholding of some amount in 2017-2018 and 2019 tax years ( withholding from comission received from insurance commission from lic and United india)

I have not filed 2017, 2018, 2019 return as my total income was less than threshold

Is it possible to file return for 2017 , 2018, 2019( all r in refund) now without paying any penalty?

like

In March I bought a mobile game to pass the time & I’ve become low key obsessed with it. Like PLEASE...I need someone to TAKE AWAY MY PHONE. Why do I keep spending real money on god damn energy! 😂😂

funnylike

Hi Folks,
How long does it take to get offer letter from DI after getting intent letter.

Thanks

like

If you had a choice, would you choose AFS or Deloitte GPS? The roles are different and I understand the differences between the two, I'm more concerned about company culture and support systems.

like

Anyone (working at infy) got offer from Accenture recently and faced issue related to non-compete agreement?

like

I’m the first community manager the company hired (6 months ago). My boss is trying to get me fired because “we don’t need her after all.” What do I say to the higher-ups to save my job?

like

Interviewing and if an office doesn’t have standing desks by now, I can’t do it. Is that too bougee? Are there many big law firms that still don’t have this?

likefunny

Has anyone ever had their background screening or conflict checks not cleared before, and resulted in their offer being rescinded?

like

How much should I have saved solely for real estate investments?

I think I want to step my toes in the water by renting an apartment complex and renting it out on AIR BNB.

Has anyone here done this? How much would you advice I have saved before I do this? I know there are fees as well as costs of furnishing, etc. but looking for further advice :)

Any thoughts on the IP litigation outlook in Atlanta and/or Charlotte? Looking to move but I’m not sure of the workload there. I predominately focus on patent infringement at my current firm.

Looking to move to either Kenosha area or Chicago suburbs. What can I look to make with 30 years of general liability/employment experience.

like

Additional Posts in LGBTQIA+ 🐠

I’ve been seeing this guy for ~1 mo. I’m into him, but I don’t know how he feels. He never initiates text conversations or plans, but he’ll reply and hang when I ask. Is he just not that into me?

like

I feel like all the gays are going to Puerto Vallarta for New Years

likefunny

Okay newly single and struggling to meet women. I've tried tinder but it never goes anywhere. Lesbian 🐠 any advice?

like

Trying to get life back on track. Send love pls🥺🥺

likefunny

How do you make friends as an adult (besides from work)? M31, recently relocated to a new city and every new gay guy I meet just wants to bang. When I tell them I’m also looking for friends, I don’t hear anything back. This is irl, not on Grindr..

likehelpful

Anyone going to be in Silicon Valley this week?

In my 4 years consulting... I've never worked with other attractive guys, or gays on my engagement. Teams. Damnit PwC, where are you hiding them!

like

Person A makes 180k, handsome and athletic VS Person B makes 260k, chubby and unattractive. Which one is more popular in gay world?

likefunny

Guys: boxers? briefs? commando? thongs? jocks? What’s your preference?

like

🐠 Need Advice - has anyone come out as 🏳️‍⚧️ at work (USA)? A friend is trying to navigate coming out (cont.)

like

Who is at ROMBA?

like

brb...applying for a new role

Post Photo
likefunny

Is there still a KIK group of consulting gays?

like

Wow had our first zoom call with the client today and 😍😍😍. Husband-me-up PE daddy 😍😍. Have you ever worked with a sexy af client?

likefunny

Hi friends, I am looking for some advice. This guy who used to bully me for being gay in college just started as a contractor at my company. He used to call me names in the dinning hall and throw ...

like

Hi friends! Do any of you utilize a room separator for your home office? My entire front room of my house is my office, but I’d like a room separator to help me with visual distractions. Mind sharing your space for inspiration?

like

A girl that I like accused me of hitting on her friend at pride. Now has unfollowed me and anything I say she says I'm gaslighting her. Happy pride to me 😞

likefunny

Anyone has experience with long distance? How did you make it work or if it didn’t work out, what were the reasons?

like

Any guys in Chicago free during the week to grab drinks? Early 30s male here looking to make new friends. Typically like dive bars and hang out LP, Old Town, Wicker, Logan Square, West Loop, River N.

like

I just finished watching Hollywood on Netflix and needless to say being a POC gay in America I was so moved. I cried too. Anyone else absolutely loved that show?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal