Is it always like this when you lateral? I’m a 4th-year associate, and this is my first time lateraling. No one has stopped by my office to say hi, and partners didn't set up lunch. I feel so unwelcome and sad. I'm not saying the world has to evolve around me, but I was hoping for at least a brief hello from people. 150 people office and 15 people group.

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Every firm is different, but that's a little sad. At the very least, the partner that hired you should take you out to lunch, hopefully with another person or two. Sounds like you just have a non-social group, so you'll have to take the lead and ask people to coffee, etc.

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I was taken out to lunch on day 1. And after about a week they had a popcorn stand right outside my office for people to come say hi.

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This was my experience too. A year ago. It did not get better and I’ve never felt so secluded. This was my third move and I recently gave notice. Not feeling included was the biggest reason I’m leaving. It kills your mood and working life/experience. Hope it gets better for you bud.

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I had a similar experience lateraling. For me, the first few solitary months were not representative of my entire experience, though.

It was a very social firm, and there were regular weekly associate get-togethers. Over about one year of consistently going to these events, I did feel more socially integrated. I never felt as socially included as those who summered there, but it got much better over time.

I wouldn’t take it personally, and would instead focus on getting your workspace and workflow set up as you like it. There will be plenty of lunches and events later this year.

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I moved 4 times and only once did I feel like you describe. It was telling.

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This was how it was for me too. The first happy hour I went to literally no one talked to me. I was on the outside of a circle. I was very sad, since I came from a firm where I always had someone to chat with an consider myself quite social. After about 6 months it got a little better and now after a year i have several people who I am friendly with. It’s better. Still not as good as last firm. But also the new firm people are much more stressed out, so maybe that contributes

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One of the thousand small indignities that would’ve seemed unimaginable 40 years ago and is common today

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This is my biggest fear about lateraling, as a fellow 4th year :( it’s not asking for too much for folks to pop by and say hi to a new hire, esp for a department that small. I hope things get better for you!

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Our firm isnt like this at all. Anytime someone laterals our practice group sets up a lunch. But, I would say you need to make an effort like I did as a first year. You email the partners you want to get to know and ask them if they can do lunch this week. Getting a solid start like that helped me a lot!

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It’s not like this everywhere, but I also had some nightmare lateral experiences. It is very hard to be a lateral when there is no effort on the part of the firm to ingrate the associate.

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Good news is the summer programs will be starting in a couple months, and there should be lots of opportunities to meet people at events. Sorry you’re going through this!

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4th year recent lateral and literally everyone is stopping by and introducing themselves in hallways. Wish it were better for you.

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I had a similar first week. Didn’t even get a tour of the office and had to pull up a map on the office website to find the bathroom. Turns out there was a recent shift in roles and everyone thought someone else was doing it. I eventually asked if I could get a tour and have someone come with to make a few introductions and they were shocked that hadn’t already happened. Much better 2 years in and I try to make an effort when anyone new starts to make sure they feel welcome bc I remember how much those first couple weeks sucked.

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Not an associate but have been “senior staff” in big law for over a decade. I’m in my 2nd firm post Covid and this has been my experience, too.

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I had the same experience. 9 months in and I still don’t get invited to lunches the homegrown associates are doing.

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Sorry. That’s atypical.

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Smile softly when you walk through. Greet people when you make eye contact. So you know, it's not you. These days are chaotic , stay true to yourself.

Walk around and introduce yourself, but also, they should take you out your first week. Like sheesh.

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