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Subject Expert
Every firm is different, but that's a little sad. At the very least, the partner that hired you should take you out to lunch, hopefully with another person or two. Sounds like you just have a non-social group, so you'll have to take the lead and ask people to coffee, etc.
Subject Expert
I was taken out to lunch on day 1. And after about a week they had a popcorn stand right outside my office for people to come say hi.
This was my experience too. A year ago. It did not get better and I’ve never felt so secluded. This was my third move and I recently gave notice. Not feeling included was the biggest reason I’m leaving. It kills your mood and working life/experience. Hope it gets better for you bud.
Subject Expert
I had a similar experience lateraling. For me, the first few solitary months were not representative of my entire experience, though.
It was a very social firm, and there were regular weekly associate get-togethers. Over about one year of consistently going to these events, I did feel more socially integrated. I never felt as socially included as those who summered there, but it got much better over time.
I wouldn’t take it personally, and would instead focus on getting your workspace and workflow set up as you like it. There will be plenty of lunches and events later this year.
I moved 4 times and only once did I feel like you describe. It was telling.
This was how it was for me too. The first happy hour I went to literally no one talked to me. I was on the outside of a circle. I was very sad, since I came from a firm where I always had someone to chat with an consider myself quite social. After about 6 months it got a little better and now after a year i have several people who I am friendly with. It’s better. Still not as good as last firm. But also the new firm people are much more stressed out, so maybe that contributes
One of the thousand small indignities that would’ve seemed unimaginable 40 years ago and is common today
Enthusiast
This is my biggest fear about lateraling, as a fellow 4th year :( it’s not asking for too much for folks to pop by and say hi to a new hire, esp for a department that small. I hope things get better for you!
Our firm isnt like this at all. Anytime someone laterals our practice group sets up a lunch. But, I would say you need to make an effort like I did as a first year. You email the partners you want to get to know and ask them if they can do lunch this week. Getting a solid start like that helped me a lot!
It’s not like this everywhere, but I also had some nightmare lateral experiences. It is very hard to be a lateral when there is no effort on the part of the firm to ingrate the associate.
Mentor
Good news is the summer programs will be starting in a couple months, and there should be lots of opportunities to meet people at events. Sorry you’re going through this!
4th year recent lateral and literally everyone is stopping by and introducing themselves in hallways. Wish it were better for you.
I had a similar first week. Didn’t even get a tour of the office and had to pull up a map on the office website to find the bathroom. Turns out there was a recent shift in roles and everyone thought someone else was doing it. I eventually asked if I could get a tour and have someone come with to make a few introductions and they were shocked that hadn’t already happened. Much better 2 years in and I try to make an effort when anyone new starts to make sure they feel welcome bc I remember how much those first couple weeks sucked.
Not an associate but have been “senior staff” in big law for over a decade. I’m in my 2nd firm post Covid and this has been my experience, too.
I had the same experience. 9 months in and I still don’t get invited to lunches the homegrown associates are doing.
Mentor
Sorry. That’s atypical.
Smile softly when you walk through. Greet people when you make eye contact. So you know, it's not you. These days are chaotic , stay true to yourself.
Walk around and introduce yourself, but also, they should take you out your first week. Like sheesh.