{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’ve been struggling at work, trying to get a promotion but it isn’t going to happen. I confided in my wife about this, telling her it was hard because I thought I deserved it and that I’d been in my current position for many years. She listened and offered advice, which I appreciated. Last night we got into an argument (not about work) and in the heat of the moment, she yelled at me that my stupidity is why I’m not getting a promotion. It cut me deep, I’m still hurt. How do I get over this?", "post_id": "607dc9907bc58d001be4c9dc", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising" }

I’ve been struggling at work, trying to get a promotion but it isn’t going to happen. I confided in my wife about this, telling her it was hard because I thought I deserved it and that I’d been in my current position for many years. She listened and offered advice, which I appreciated. Last night we got into an argument (not about work) and in the heat of the moment, she yelled at me that my stupidity is why I’m not getting a promotion. It cut me deep, I’m still hurt. How do I get over this?

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Reaching for the sharpest weapon is a good way to put it. You can use this as a chance to have an open conversation with your wife now that whatever this is is in the open. Marriages last longer than jobs and offer more support. Work on that first.

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Hard to know a marriage. Perhaps she was lashing out in the heat of an argument and knew what the sharpest weapon at hand was. Or perhaps there are deeper issues. When things are calm, talk it through and express what hearing her say those words did to you.

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Talk about an illegal below the belt strike! Ok, let's say there are two scenarios... 1. She said it just to hurt you (it worked remarkably well...). In that case, you need to be confident enough to not let it affect you or even show that it does. 2. It is true. How would you self- improve? What would you do differently to get that promotion?

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She owes you an apology...

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Could be she’s been harboring resentment for a while and can contain/manage it on the whole, but then something big happens and it comes out. I’m guessing it goes much deeper than the promotion. Get to the bottom of it now with each other or with a couple therapist if you’re comfortable. A stitch in time...

It could be that she’s also super disappointed that you didn’t get it. But she couldn’t show that when being supportive, so it snuck out later. I know when my spouse changes jobs or isn’t getting what he wants professionally, it takes a huge toll. You hear all about it but cannot impact it. And your life, peace, dinner conversation and finances are impacted. It wears on the partner, too.

damn that was way harsh tai. job things are rough. my husband has been unemployed since last summer and it’s really stressful on both of us. i want to support him and know that it’s been really tough for him, but that means i’m holding in all of my fears because i don’t want to make it worse for him by talking about it. i’ve never said something like this, but i’ve thought it a few times when i was really frustrated. just totally out of rage, i know that it’s not actually true. it’s just anger at something i can’t control and needing to find something to blame. my point is, though she absolutely should not have said this and owes you a serious apology, it could be that she’s stressed and lashed out- but didnt actually think what she was saying is true. you definitely need to lay it out and tell her how you feel. don’t get down on yourself.

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