I’ve never taken a true vacation in my entire career. Even on the beach, I’m “just checking in” and refreshing my inbox between margaritas, jumping on quick calls that last an hour. Everyone says to unplug, but the guilt hits the second I see a new email notification. It’s like I’ve been conditioned to equate rest with irresponsibility. Is it even possible to truly disconnect in this job? How do you do it?

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Yes it is if your group/firm’s culture allows it. Do other associates also respond like you do when on vacation? If so it’s probably a firm problem. If not, it’s a you problem and you need to figure out better boundaries. I lateraled to a firm that allows true unplugging and those who draw hard boundaries will travel abroad for two weeks and literally not take their work laptops. Others, mostly partners, will take two week vacations and say they’re only going to check email once or twice a day. Best practices are 1) arrange coverage for all your matters, 2) be upfront about how disconnected you will be, 3) send reminders leading up to your vacation, and 4) enforce the boundary by leaving work devices where you can’t use them.

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I had a friend from law school like that. Surprisingly, his second wife wrote very nice things about him in his obituary.

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So… don’t sync your work email. Problem solved

Turn off your email notifications. If you want to check while you're on vacation, tell your associates/paralegal/assistant etc. when you'll be checking. Otherwise don't respond.

If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, the firm would have to figure it out. None of us are irreplaceable at work.

35 comments so far tells us all we have been there.

It’s difficult, but try to change. Put up an internal OOO that is clear that you’ll respond when you return and let those you have active matters with that you’ll be completely out of pocket and ensure no deadlines are during or right after your vacation.

Put an external OOO that is similar but offers for clients to text if an emergency and giving them a specific person to contact in your absence.

Then only check email once in morning and once early evening each day to ensure you don’t need to forward something from a client or court etc. to someone on your team. Answer calls from clients. But otherwise unplug and enjoy.

I was supervising an overseas trip with my kid's scout troop. Earlier that day, a foreign jet had invaded local airspace and been shot down. After dark, both sides were lobbing shells about 2 kilometers from where we were staying in tents.

During the shelling, my GC asked me to check in, so we could have a conversation about something trivial. I explained the background noise, and wasn't bothered again for the rest of the trip.

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