{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’ve turned 27 years old today and my father doesn’t give a shit about it. We didn’t celebrate. He yelled at me for waking up too late (it was 11am and I live in my own apartment). My family is here just to visit. I come from an immigrant family FYI. It’s like we’re not allowed to have fun somehow and always focused on work and chores. I hate all this negativity… Been patient and trying to stay patient.", "post_id": "6107232992c036002f97b2f2", "reply_count": 37, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

I’ve turned 27 years old today and my father doesn’t give a shit about it. We didn’t celebrate. He yelled at me for waking up too late (it was 11am and I live in my own apartment). My family is here just to visit. I come from an immigrant family FYI. It’s like we’re not allowed to have fun somehow and always focused on work and chores. I hate all this negativity… Been patient and trying to stay patient.

likefunny
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It's ok to set your own boundaries. The world will not end. You can't live your life being under their thumb forever. The sooner you start setting boundaries the sooner you can reclaim your life. They will pout and throw tantrums: don't give in. Set the boundaries and don't cave in. They'll learn not to cross them eventually.

likehelpful

I agree. You need to set boundaries even if it hurts their feelings. Say that you have plans for your birthday with friends and do that if they’re only bringing negativity.

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Happy birthday! 🎉🎈🎁 Don’t sweat it too much. I made my own cake for years, celebrated myself. My dad has also forgotten my birthday and my age. On a positive spin - he may just be concerned that you turned out ok as a productive citizen in society. He may not ever let on the touchy side of any feelings. His way of saying “I love you” may come in really harsh/antithetical ways. And he may not be capable of loving you or expressing it the way you feel you need. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He sounds like a hard ass, but still your father. Perspective can give you an arms length from the negativity. You’ve done well to recognize it, and decide you don’t like it. You don’t have to be the same way, though. And you don’t have to surround yourself with it beyond the point where it becomes unhealthy for you. 💙

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Venting is healthy. Don’t let it ruin your birthday though. 💙

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Happy bday

upliftinglike

Thank you ! :)

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Happy birthday!!! Late 20s is great and I think you’ll slowly gain more and more independence and slowly cut out that negativity.

likeuplifting

Thank you ! :)

And do you ever celebrate your parent’s birthday ?

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Yes you’re so right about what I cannot control. I try to let it go but sometimes the accumulation is just too much too handle. I try my best to just ignore and not feel guilty about it. Thank you so much ! :)

Happy Birthday OP! 🎂🍰🧁🥳🎈

uplifting

Thank you !! 🤩

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My parents are the same - it’s like doing something fun or being happy is a sin! I just don’t let it get to me. They did so much for me and I am here today because of them. And they are getting old. Just shrug and move on. And make sure to do anything in your power to be warm to your future children.

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Yes I feel the same. I will always be grateful for what they provided to us. I definitely try my best to let it go and accept the situation. I can’t wait to have kids to teach them how to balance responsibilities versus the importance of celebrating life and love ! ✨ Thanks for your message it’s always good to know some people can relate !

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27th birthday isn’t exactly a major milestone. I wouldn’t expect anything special.

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Exactly ! When they are not around, my lifestyle is totally different and I take the time to enjoy life. Unfortunately, nothing has changed in theirs or when we spend time as a family.

Remember this feeling foe next time you feel like inviting them over to visit. And don't.

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Move apartments and say your new landlord doesn't allow overnight guests and your dad has to stay in a hotel. Once he is not in your face constantly youll prob get on better too.

Happy birthday!! You can choose how close I you keep the people who hurt you. You deserve to celebrate your life! Celebrate this entire month!

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Yes I’ll definitely celebrate this month! Thank you :)

uplifting

Happy birthday!! And may be he’s just mad at you because you’re not married yet lol

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Thanks ! Hahaha that would be a funny reason but yeah who knows ! I have no idea what’s on his mind.

Might be a day late, but Happy Birthday!

uplifting

Thanks !!

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