Just found out a friend and colleague of mine is earning almost $8k more a year than I do. We started at the company at the same time, have the same responsibilities, and a similar education. I do have three more years of total experience than he does. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out the difference between us, and the only thing I can think of is that he’s a he, and I’m a woman. Is this a fair conclusion to jump to?

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It's definitely possible, and maybe even likely, but I also wonder if he, as a man, has had a more aggressive approach to salary negotiating than you have. There are many reasons that we still see gender pay gaps, and it's not necessarily because managers see a man and just decide they're worth more. I think a lot of it has to do with the way that they fight for compensation and make moves when some women, not all, wait around for raises.

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The green monster will kill your morale and devalue you even further.

That's where my mind would go too. Do you have a manger you trust to ask about this? If not, you may want to leave out that you know his salary and request the 8k raise based on your value to the company, past projects, and the going rate for people with your experience in your area.

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I don't think so, unless you have CLEAR evidence that gender is what played a role here. Did you ask for raises? Did you negotiate promotions? The difference could be something he did vs something you didn't do. If you both did the exact same things when it comes to pursuing growth then maybe I would consider the gender thing. But I highly doubt that's the reason.

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That could be possible, but unless you have proof that sexism accounts for the extra money, you don't really have much recourse. There are various reasons why the other person is making more. Sometimes we think we're high performers but we're really not. And sometimes we devalue the work of coworkers when, in fact, they're performing at a very high level. Any number of things could be going on, including that the other person is just a more skillful negotiator.

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Also most places I've worked tell us not to discuss salaries, so this is an opportunity for you to ask for a meeting with a manager to discuss your salary, and why you are asking for an increase.

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I would not jump to the gender being the reason (as a first reason). Talk to him and see if he negotiated his salary or promotions, also see if you both volunteer to work on similar projects outside of your actual work description. In my old job they would ask folks that are single or have no kids to work late (which usually means working on projects for the team) which ends up putting you in the spotlight for delivering more than expected and performance awards that you can use to push for higher pay. They always asked single people (in my team it was me and one other dude and a lady). We had that chat at 8pm one time that is being single does not mean we don't want to leave at 5 and do personal stuff. But noticed myself and the other two coworkers moved up fast compared to the other folks we had in the team.

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Maybe it is because of gender? Or maybe who has better relationship with the manager? Or maybe he asked for a raise while you didn’t?

Well 1st I want to say that I am cynical of this assumption as in my 30 yrs of professional experience I know managers want women to succeed - it makes them look good - women get easier accounts and better assignments - they are never asked to drop everything and fly last minute to take care of a disaster - men are always told to do so - firefighting is mostly performed by men. I see women in the workplace today being promoted faster, given more recognition than males and more opportunity to shine in their respective roles - a $8,000 difference is really meaningless - it's less than $4.00/hr and if this difference occurred over say 8 years - it is practically a rounding error and comes down to a small % annual salary bump that is based on performance .... so I would not read too much into this - you will likely get promoted sooner.

Sadly i would say yes, it could have been something as insignificant as a common interest observed during interview or a simple smile or joke exchanged between your male(I'm assuming) supervisor and interviewee. Very rediculous that the pay gap hasnt been rectified this day and age especially considering that ALL men would prefer to be surrounded by female coworkers as they enjoy the distraction from the mundane monaughtany enjoying the visual stimulation of the female anatomical differences. They should at least pay equal for that albeit theyre productivity is often times inferior. J/k. But work would be hell without the energy of women around, often a pleasure when men are not.(generally).

It sounds like they simply negotiated their pay at a higher rate. That is the logical assumption. I would not be too quick to judge otherwise.

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