My boss is a super needy male. I’m an exhausted mom who needs silence and time with myself to regain energy. He doesn’t shut the fuck up and wants to spend too much time with me. I’m suffocated.

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Take the space you need but I would refrain from suggesting therapy... Can you stop answering evening messages/emails that are not work related? For lunch a couple days a week, say you have plans with a friend or your spouse, etc so you break up that cycle.

likehelpful

Thank you! I kind of did that last week. Then he started to retaliate me. He canceled meetings that I invited him. So now he is refusing to give me professional support I feel.
Since we work with Agile methodology, Im trying to connect more to other senior members of my team, to see if I don’t depend on him anymore, even though he is the one who hired me. Hopefully it will work. Because I don’t really want to change to another account since I have the best Creative Director in the world.

I don’t know what you mean by “retaliating” after but if you are concerned about your job, you may need to put some of these concerns in writing to your boss and HR, but hopefully it doesn’t come to that.

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Two days seems excessive. You don’t owe him anything. Lunch is your time. Girl, do your thing.

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Can you make up a story about seeing a financial advisor, they categorized how you and your spouse spend your money and you guys are spending way too much on eating out (which is probably true for most of us anyway)? Then say you want to bring lunch in AND a side bonus is it helps you be more efficient to eat at your desk so you can leave at a good time to get the kid(s).

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I did that too lol

Isn’t it so ridiculous the lengths we have to go to make the men around us comfortable? And for the record, I think there are some good ideas here if you need to placate the guy while creating some space. It’s just so frustrating that we have to dance around other people’s spaces and can’t just be direct.

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Yes... unfortunately. If I am direct he gets offended or makes a sad face 🙄 He sucks all my energy, it’s so tiring 😞

...he wants to chat in the morning, spend lunch time, happy hours, office parties, together all the time. It’s interfering in my work productivity and personal life as he sends me personal messages on my phone after work time. I don’t mind being friendly and making friends at work, but it’s too much and I am feeling deeply annoyed. But he is my boss, so I don’t know how to handle his lack of perception and obvious no respect for the boundaries I try to set. He is also a parent btw, which makes me astonished to see that he really doesn’t get how tired I am. I’m afraid of having an honest talk and having him retaliating me after. He has done this to a guy once. Should I tell him to go to therapy or something. Get another pet? Go to meetups to make friends? He is a good person, but I just need some space.

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