My boss just held me needing to be remote for a day bc my dog is sick over my head to send me a ping after hours and do something she needs done. What and how do I even handle this situation?

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Answer in the morning. Pretend you were sleeping

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Sign out after hours so they can't ping you; ignore said ping that came through until normal working hours

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Thats awful 😞

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You don’t work for free or past your end time. Period. If she wants to try guilting you into doing free work after hours then that’s her problem.

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I'm sorry that happened to you. Boundaries are important, don't feel bad. You have other priorities outside of your job and outside of your working hours. You can even express that as much as you would have liked to help, you had your sick dog at home. "How can we prevent this in the future or what can we do if this comes up again."
Is it going to be that your boss gives you flex time? Is this going to be a usual thing? If so maybe we need to re-evaluate our priorities - is it really a priority or can it wait until tomorrow? That way there is work-life balance and boundaries.
I honestly would have said, "I sign off at this time on a given day and I had my sick dog at home, but I am happy to get to it when I am back into the office."
You can also challenge if it was really a priority? There is nothing wrong with saying no, not right now - but tomorrow I will get to it.

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Agreed it’s all about your approach. Be respectful and ask questions to gain more clarity.

Most jobs involve occasional after hours work. Did you work 8 hours remote, or did you tend to your dog most of the day? Did she really “hold it over your head” or simply ask you to do a thing.
You’re a “consultant” but you’re behaving like an 8 year old baby…?

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Yeah SD that wasn't how I read it at all.. sounds like you're projecting your own experience on OPs words. On an anonymous message board when someone's asking for advice it's best to accept their words at face value (or ask clarifying questions to confirm your bias before you go off)

It’s after hours. There shouldn’t be an expectation of your availability even on a normal day. Don’t respond.

Well, maybe or maybe not. At my job it is communicated to us at hire and consistently afterwards that we are expected to be somewhat available for after-hours work and that our pay reflects this.

OP's bosses may or may not expect this, and if they do they may or may not be this clear, but I think it's unhelpful to say "This is definitely not an expectation" when it really may be and they need to navigate it differently.

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