My boss (white male partner) told me (latina female associate) he "didn't like my tone" when I addressed a long aggressive email from him and advocated for myself very calmly and professionally (which was confirmed by the intern who heard everything when I asked her how she perceived my tone). I am wondering what I should do about this. (1) There has been an ongoing issue with him failing to communicate needs and expectations which I have tried to address. (2) The microaggression sucks.

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Unfortunately there isn’t much that can be done. You’ll have to learn to live with the micro aggressions and make it work. Otherwise, you will have to make efforts to work with a different supervisor. If he’s the only one there then consider lateraling because things will only get worse

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Leave. Respect is gone. He'll want you out soon too.

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Yea, I agree.
Ppl jumps ship all the time anyways

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I’d raise it with hr because he’s already sent you an aggressive email and is saying stuff like “tone” which might be racist/ageist/mysogenist

likehelpful

Try and work with a different partner or switch firms.

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I know there’s not a lot that can be said other than the above, but as a Latina attorney I totally empathize. Micro aggressions and being unfairly perceived is exhausting. Not the most helpful but just wanted you to know somebody hears you and sees you. If it’s any consolation, this made me feel less alone so thank you for your vulnerability. ♥️

likehelpful

Completely agree! Latina here too. I stayed at a firm much longer than I should have. Main partner I worked with would consistently degrade my culture and all I could do was try to laugh it off. He was a rainmaker so I felt I had no choice but to tolerate it. Eventually had to jump ship and much happier at my new firm, so the grass can be greener.

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It's hard to know without more context. We weren't there. An intern's opinion carries little weight. This is a tough business. You can't go to HR with every micro aggression--it's going to happen all the time from all sides. I'm not saying it's right but it's common. Have another partner level mentor for advice. Was the partner's original email out of line in relation to the firm's culture? Then practice advocating for yourself with the mentor.

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If it was just the tone comment or the long email I’d say it’s probably solvable without hr but OP is in serious danger of losing her job or having things escalate and after the tone comment I’d say hr needs to get involved because the partner needs to be reigned in with his nonsense

likehelpful

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