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I know Liver King is out there but my roommate has been living by his “9 ancestral tenets” and it basically changed his life. Anyone else that follows something similar seen benefits? Seems like he’s rooted on well being and staying connected with the world around you. Even if you think he’s weird his YouTube video is well put together.
https://youtu.be/QzZ0y5w_1iA
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Do you want children? If you could control your experience during your pregnancy to be safe? If the answer is yes, don't let the govt get in the way of your goals.
Now, for the guy, if he can't listen to you on this, I'd let him know maybe you all are not aligned on the importance of your life and perhaps there needs to be a re-evaluation of this relationship. I will not be silenced in my relationship about my body. Ever. N*gga, you cannot have children without me so I suggest you listen and absorb. Do not disregard me.
He's young in male years so he's still a kid. He doesn't fully understand what a wife is yet. Many men never do. Your choice if you wanna hook your wagon to that for eternity. I have a feeling he gon need consequences to really hear you. You may need to threaten to bounce 💁🏾♀️
Personally, I don't know if I could align w someone who didn't vote and doesn't understand the propensity of what's at stake. How could a man who wants to be a husband and the father not vote!? Nah. When I was 29, I might hesitate to end things. @ 39, I would already be gone.
Politics is only gonna get worse in the next 2-3 years. You can't bypass this conversation in your home/relationship without severe consequences. We entering into the Age of Aquarius - careful now.
Find a way for him to truly hear you. If he doesn't, I'd move onto the next. I don't want to be next to someone who won't get it until my life is on the line in the hospital.
Talking about he didn't vote - boi BYE!!! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
Side question: if he did vote, who do you think he would have voted for? Cause it sure sounding like he may have voted for Trump - careful. Don't say we didn't tell you ooo
Yeah, he's still figuring his shit out if he just became a citizen. I vote you keep it moving. If you're not crazy about having kids and he really wants them but doesn't take the time to understand the position you'd be in, there's really nothing else to discuss. No way I'm making that big a move for someone who doesn't seem to be tapped into me or the country we'd raise our kids.
This is tough. I personally couldn’t date someone who wasn’t civically engaged and didn’t care about my rights in our society. I would suggest you take some time to think about what you’re looking for from him. Is it empathy and/or validation of your concerns for your present and future? What would it look like for him to show up for you in a healthy way?
That’ll be a good start for the discussion. It seems like you know what you want so I hope you have the strength and resolve to only feed into relationships with people who understand and want equal rights for you.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this OP and I know this is a very difficult situation to be in. I think its hard for people to put themselves in the shoes of someone they have never been and imagine what that would feel like so he may just really not be able to comprehend how you are feeling.
Him just becoming a citizen makes the lack of civic engagement clearer. Depending where he is from, he probably won’t understand our politics for a long time, if ever. I’m Trinidadian married to a Jamaican and see how family members on both sides don’t get it. Not making an excuse for him, but sharing that it sounds like there’s some cultural differences that may be at play that need to be addressed alongside the political one and the long-term impact this election will have on any future he wants to lay down roots here and build. If he’s Caribbean, from experience, we’re so used shady and corrupt politics/politicians, understanding the context of Trump can be harder to grasp without the full understanding of how American government works and is different than “back home” politics. Sounds like he’s been living here, but not tried to engage in getting it.
I don’t have any advice to share on how to deal with that sadly, but wanted to offer a different perspective. On the kids thing, you sounded very similar to me when I was dating my husband - having kids were on the table, but not really a want for me. It took me two years into my marriage to want them and now I have 2 and want a 3rd. You’re not wrong for having hesitations, but you also have time to figure that all out. Unless you’re planning to try now, you have time.
May I ask your age?
I’m 29 and he’s 32
What state are you in?
I have because south Florida is so expensive and the housing market is horrible here. He is opposed to moving because his family is here (mine too, but that’s not a factor that would stop me from moving). He’s a mechanical engineer and our location is not great for career advancement for what he does. I’m a cpa and works remotely, my job allows me to work anywhere within this country
Doesn't sound like you two are aligned. He sees the world differently than you see it. Thank goodness you saw the misalignment before you got married and had children. It's time to move, away from him and out of the state, and if you can, out of the country. Minorities will be targeted for violence. Personally, I am planning to Blaxit, but first I need a relocation order from a family court for my son. I am leaning toward Canada since I meet the means test now. Portugal is my second choice, right now.
In the future, always sublet for 6-12 months before you fully let go if you like the apt! I've never regretted it.
While I do think the election results have some needing to zoom out and take a breather, I see you live in Florida where a choice vote failed amongst other things. In republican state Missouri, near where I live, they passed! But if political choices are a dealbreaker in your relationship, that is for you to decide. They can change every 4 years.
Moving somewhere else is an option that shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you do move, do you both make enough money to pay for daycare, nannys, etc because there may not be “free” family help? Can one of you agree to be SAH-M/D if not? We moved from NYC to the Midwest because it was better financially and to be closer to family who can help. You both still have time to think it through, though.