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What's the requirement to travel back to the US?
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Why don't you like the groom? You are not going to like all of his family/friends, but they are still his family/friends. As long as he doesn't cheat or break laws when he is at the party, let him be.
Pro
Are you not from the US? that's a norm for many here. While they can be quite expensive it's a good opportunity for both a groom and a bride to get together with their friends before getting married. You may not be supportive of your bfs relative he's going for, he's still his family and sounds like they get along just fine. There is nothing you can do about it besides talking to your bf and set expectations maybe (but besides communicating that hooking up with someone is a big no no, that's about all you can say. guys will do stupid things, they will get drunk and have fun and that's fine, let them)
My husband is going to a bachelor party 800 miles away from me for a long weekend (4days). I don’t love or trust who he is going with but I trust him to walk away if they’re doing something unfaithful or illegal. We had a talk about strip clubs (look but don’t touch) and drinking (please not enough to get lost in a strange town) and other things I had concerns about. I trust my partner, I trust he’ll make good decisions and honor our marriage. If I didn’t trust that, what good is our marriage?
Thank you this actually made me feel better
I’d pick my battles, and let this one go. If you trust him to make good decisions, then you don’t have anything to worry about. I can’t see asking him not to go just because you don’t like the groom (and acting annoyed just to make him feel bad probably isn’t going to do anybody any good).
I get that. Maybe plan something with your friends, or book a spa appointment for yourself, so you have something fun of your own to look forward to. And if you think his communication with you over the weekend is going to be a source of stress, maybe just agree before he leaves on what would make you happy (like “hey can you text me at the end of each night, or each morning, so I’m not worried whether you made it back to the hotel/house safe?”).
I know this is easier said than done and I mean this with the utmost respect, but just let him live his life. In the long run, it causes so much less stress.
When you’re invited on a bachelorette party is he allowed to not want you to go if he doesn’t like the friend or the people going?
I personally don’t see why him going would be a big deal. Tons of people have bachelor/bachelorette parties that are kind of extravagant for my taste but it’s their choice to do what they want. As long as your bf isn’t doing anything wrong, I feel like the details of the trip don’t really matter. In my eyes, it’s basically just like if they were to do a “guys trip”, would you be upset about the trip if it was that instead of a bachelor party?
I guess I should have mentioned the groom is not a good influence. Does a lot of crazy things and acts like an idiot a lot of times. That’s really why I’m not thrilled. Not because of the party but because of the people
I’d let him know how you feel and you’d prefer if he didn’t go.
Relationships don’t give you an excuse to control another human being