My daughter is going to be 2 soon, wondering if we should go for another kid or not, the only motivation is to get her a sibling so she is not lonely, otherwise last 2 yrs have been pretty hard, any advice on what motivated or deterred you from having a second kid?!

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I was in your shoes and not ready but really wanted to “complete” our family and provide that sibling. Thought “this is as ready as I’ll be”.

Boy, I had no idea what I was in for. I have no village and was already struggling with my mental health so having the second only made things unsustainable for me. I was dealing with undiagnosed ADHD for years that really exacerbated after kids. Ended up putting a lot on my husband to get through the last year and a half and lots of MH support.

Do I regret having my son? Of course not. Do I think kids are overrated and we were pressured through societal norms to commit? Yes. If I knew what I know now AND didn’t have a village, I would probably have an only.

Everyone’s situation is different. Follow your heart.

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Thanks Microsoft1, this is very helpful

We had a 2nd right as 1st turned 2yr9m. It’s been the best thing ever. It’s hard. Having a newborn to me was the hardest both times. The kids couldn’t be more opposite but I love watching the two of them together. Someone once said if you have 1 you are the entertainer. If you have 2 you are the referee. That’s been true so far and I love watching them. Some unexpected things are harder though like missing out on some time with my eldest, sometimes splitting up for birthday parties with partner, not giving 100% of myself to the youngest. It’s tough but again worth it!

likeupliftinghelpful
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As a mom of four, I say have a second. But also there's no guarantee they'll be friends.

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If you’re feeling overwhelmed but ultimately want a sibling, I’d recommend a larger age gap, it’s been a dream for us. We have a 7yo 3yo and newborn.

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I'm a mom of one and my daughter wishes she had a sibling. I'm a single mom, and it works for me. However, if I were married I think one more wouldn't hurt. I say go for it.

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We have 2 girls with a gap of 2 yrs and best decision made! They are eachothers best friends and company. Its tiring and expensive early on but now that they are 8 and 10, its pure joy! Go for it while ur still in the throes of diapers and sleep-less nights!

Definitely have another. Only children are lonely especially when they grow up…

We have 2 kids with a 2 yr gap and best decision made! Got done with diapers, day cares etc all within a few years and now that they are 8 and 10, they are happy playing with each-other.

We have the same age difference and as young adults, our kids actually like each other as they relate to each other.

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As someone who felt I should have a second for the reason you listed, I should have stopped at one. I love my second child so much, but two children have been so hard. Ours are 2.5 years apart. But the logistics of two children with two working parents - it’s not easy. & that doesn’t even get into the dynamics of two children who love each other but spend most of their time fighting and fussing. If you absolutely positively love children and want a big family, do it. But if you are just having another just so your first won’t be lonely, I say don’t. She will have yall. She will have friends. She will be fine. The second child is almost nothing like the first. It’ll be like being a new parent all over again.

I’m really glad you found the choice that is right for you and gives you peace, OP. ❤️

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