Need advice for interacting with Millennials of equal and/or supervisory levels. Have you ever found that if you are too nice and treat them like friends they see it as a sign of weakness, and then condescend to you? It's like, because I am friendly and nice, they treat me like I'm stupid. But at the same time, if I offer a different opinion than theirs (on strategy or the quality of an idea), they get real quiet and put off by my directness. Sincerely looking for tips. (GenX here)

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Don’t know if it’s 100% common, but I’ve always thought a lot of us go through sort of a “flip around” moment - you’ve always been the youngest person in the room, look around, and suddenly you aren’t. For me, started happening mid-90s, particularly as clients started hiring younger in their marketing departments since less experienced command lower salaries.

So I’m a boomer — and, yeah, ok with that - been a long while dealing with.

like

Long-story short: I’m not sure the generational characterizations are entirely true or even much useful. in fact, I’d argue the rules of engagement are pretty much the same: it’s all about the value you offer and they ain’t paying you to occupy space; you work with the right A-listers, you learn you don’t need to be a dick to get to the mountaintop; doesn’t matter if it’s the client’s place or you’re a freelancer in an agency, it’s always someone else’s house; submission games or trying to prove your cultural creds are generally useless — the work will speak for itself.

like

you’re looking into a mirror with a 15 year delay, so be understanding and hope when you make it to their level, the next generation wont complain about you.

like
Recent IconRecent

I’ve found they’re as a group they’re pretty condescending as a whole… think they know it all

likesmarthelpful

YES. So how can we work with them better? How can we make our ideas heard, and have our thoughts count just as much...even if we are older?

Are you truly treating them like an equal or do you expect them to never disagree or correct you because you’ve been doing this longer?

Because I will say that this is a tricky industry to grow old in. I supervise and am supervised by people who are Gen X, and sometimes they know better than me. But just as often, they’re stuck in old ways or have learned bad habits and seem horrified that I’d have the temerity to stick to my guns, or talk to them as if we’re both adults and I might have something to offer.
I don’t have patience for anyone who expects respect but doesn’t really show it.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like you’re annoyed that younger generations aren’t terrified of you. 30/40 y.o’s are not juniors. They’ve been doing this long enough that they may actually know better than you, especially in a field as subjective and ever-changing as ours.

likefunny

Haha it’s crazy to me that “if you’re not being heard, it’s probably because you’re a freelance writer working into full time CDs and not about some big generational rift” is an “unhinged” opinion. And lo and behold, a lot of people in this thread agree with me.

like

I’m in my early 50s, and could literally be my copy partner’s dad, but we’ve never had an issue.
There’s times where my experience is helpful in situations, and there’s times where their youth/new ideas are helpful.
I think the key is treating each other as equals.

like

I generally freelance so I’ve had bosses within a wide range of age. From my end I’m unconcerned, and I’ve been pretty fortunate as far as bosses/managers. However as a whole I’ve found that sometimes certain teams or hiring groups comprising Millys used to be weird, and were dismissive of or tried to bully random Gen Xers. It might be because they outnumber us and can’t resist the pack mentality? This was particularly bad from about 2014-ish to 2020. I think it has mellowed because they now realize they are also no spring chickens.

I’m currently working on a project for a (male!) founder in his 20s, and he has been a joy. He is incredibly respectful and professional, and regularly implements my feedback.

likehelpful

Freelance is the way. I feel after 40. They literally don’t bother you.

I really think what you are noticing is a slightly strained FT/freelancer or CD/CW dynamic, not anything unique to the ages or birth years of anyone involved.

And yes many millennials (self included) are approaching their mid-forties and don’t really see people 10-15 years older than us as a different age at this point.

like

Exactly. Unless someone’s been in the biz for <5 years, I see them as a peer, with taste and habits that can vary wildly based on where they’ve worked and how they’ve been trained.

like

We will have to work for people who are younger/less experienced than us sometimes. I want to do it better. It used to be that being nice was the way to indicate, "I'm not a threat and am here to do the best work I can." Could be too that since I am a freelancer, they think of me as a substitute teacher/not entitled to respect. I am talking about people in their 30's and early 40s. I think that's Millennial? 🤔

likefunny

I would also like to ask, if anyone knows of any creative departments with people primarily over 45? Tall order I know. But I would just love to work with people my own age or older. Makes me miss the days of working for ECDs who walked the halls like royalty bc they were smart and talented.

like

I’m 42. I’m a dad, a homeowner, and I’ve already started to feel the effects of being aged out. I’m also a millennial.

like

In other words I don’t think there’s some magical difference between talking to millennials and Gen X. Maybe 20 years ago when we were entering the workforce there was but at this point a lot of us are old grizzled veterans who are just trying to survive, just like you.

like

It’s not a millenial thing, a lot of these ad kids went to private school and expensive portfolio schools daddy’s got connections at the agency they are just little shits.

likehelpful

I would suggest not getting wrapped up in broad strokes about generations and maybe keep it focused on individuals.

like

Sometimes there are universal truths (something we creatives know all about). So I was hoping to get advice from others who have successfully navigated this relationship.

OK. I’ll bite. Are you actually friendly or condescending? Are you being direct or a dick? And is this to a few different people or just one person?

Millennials are in their professional peak (since we are generalizing) so yes, all of us in gen X are likely co-existing with younger colleagues who are in managerial positions to us. So maybe treat them individually, professionally, and respectfully. And I’m sure you’ll get it in return. Just like any generation, there’s all kinds.

As if Gen X didn’t have some of the worst set of racist, misogynistic, CDs. Come on man.

Coincidentally, someone who acts too familiar or ‘like a friend’ too quickly at work is a red flag so maybe just try being your self.

like

I observed some of these things, too. I don’t really have any great solves, though. I recall consistently being blown off/dismissed by a junior AE when I was a freelance supervisor. I do think that she felt like she didn’t need to heed my guidance since I wasn’t an FTE.

A more recent occurrence particularly bothered me. I spent my own money to buy books for my team—one of Robert Solomon’s titles on account management that I found extremely helpful and I wish I’d read it early in my career. One of the management supervisors who I gifted it to didn’t even bother to read it. He gave it to an AE on the team the same day! I found out from her when I stopped by her desk to give her a copy. My takeaway was that he thinks he’s above learning and/or receiving advice from those with more experience. And no, I don’t think he already had a copy given the conversation we had when I handed it to him.

helpful

Related Posts

My natural instinct is to assume rejection if I have conflict with a partner or don’t think my feelings are reciprocated. I’ll try to bring it up with them, but I’ll say “if you want to end this feel free” so it doesn’t hurt me (and they can say what they really mean instead of sugarcoating). Someone told me today that they just assume I’m not interested because I always seem to “run” but I’m not sure how to bring up problems/feelings otherwise. How do you approach these hard questions?

like

At a small firm, but I have another gay associate in my practice "group" super excited.

like

What do you do when a store manager let's a cashier.walk all over the assistant manager? Dm isn't any help. I'm at my wits end! Store manager sticks up for cashier every single time. I've offered to give that cashier my keys . I'm so done with trying to do right, only to have manager make up excuses.

like

Reported a racist incident and now I'm feeling like I'm being blackballed. They are now giving my assignments to someone that works under me. How do I mange this?

like

Me, but not at work where most coworkers are introverts.

Post Photo
likefunnyuplifting

My manager continues to ask me to help other teams and do work on other billable projects. I’m sick of it .. and I’m going to explicitly say that no I can’t do it because my hours are taken by the existing project we are doing. Is this appropriate?

like

I struggle w/ deep convos in social settings w/ partners. We have team dinners every few weeks that I go to, but find it tough to engage with them. Doing well on case, but feel it’s career limiting.

Has anyone else had a mentor (assigned to them by the Company) who seemed to have it out for you? I mean downright sabotage to make you look bad left and right. I didn’t realize it at first. She was fake friendly, but she was discrete too. Some of the executives thought she was amazing, but I had to clean up her work all the time. She wasn’t above me either on the chain of command. Later I found out she had tried for the exec assistant role and they didn’t choose her, they wanted me instead.

like

A coworker (diff depts) and I realized we live in the same neighborhood after running into each other on the street. We started talking more in the office and he ended one convo with “we should get drinks sometime”. I gave him my number via slack and said to hit me up when he wants to get together. Hadn’t heard from him in a couple weeks then connected him to my friend who works for a company he’s trying to sell to. Then he asked if I’d set him up with my friend :( think I have any chance?

likefunny

I need a laugh. Tell me about your most entitled client.

Mine called my personal cell phone on Christmas Day to ask me the status of her case while I was in the middle of watching my kids open presents. I’d just talked to her the week before and told her that the defendants had 30 days to respond.

like

What does everyone wear for client meetings in a WFH setting

like

Has anyone hooked up with a project team member? There’s some weird interactions going on here between me and another. Not sure how to navigate. Also, he’s hot.

likefunny

What is the best way to tell customers that I will need a few minutes without making them mad? Or do you keep them chatting while you do the account stuff?

like

How to deal with people flirting with you at work.
I’m married, and one of my coworkers flirts with me. Nothing super overt, but definitely not professional. We’re good friends and work together constantly because we’re on the same client, so I don’t want to make it awkward. Do I just do nothing and let it go? It is mostly just odd I’m not super offended, but I’m also clearly uninterested!

likehelpful

My coworker constantly undermines me and makes me look bad in team meetings. Should I try and address this directly with them or should I go to my manager first?

like

What did you all think of that case where a woman who told her team she was taking a day off to take care of her mental health who had a supportive boss and everyone cheered them?

like

I was released without cause today but my boss mentioned my battle with mental health and that I’m looking for other jobs before canning me. Should I address this with the board or leave it alone?

like

Director of Marketing wants me to write some conversation snippets for a chatbot, but I think those things drive potential clients away. Trying to figure out if I should tell him or not

like

Any tips on helping a colleague with substance abuse issues?

like

Do partners sometimes say nice things about your work just to encourage you and less so because the work merits the compliment? Or is my impostor syndrome really messing with my head?

like

More Posts

What advice would you give a new L7 in cyber coming from D? Will it be hard to rebuild a network?

What do people think about open relationships? The concept itself is not new to the gays, and has been around for centuries. They called it by a different name in the olden says 😀

Post Photo
like

Who is reading?

Post Photo
like

I know this is very stereotypical to ask here, but did anyone watch the latest episode of White Lotus? DM me! My friends are watching it tomorrow and I need to get my thoughts out!!!!!

like

If you’re new to DC… depending where you are.. those aren’t fireworks. Have a safe 4th (but pay attention) lol.

funnylike

I have got an offer from HSBC India Offer: 24.7 LPA YOE: 7.8 Skills: Devops Position: Consultant Specialist Looks like a reasonable one?? And what else should I enquire before accepting the offer ??HSBC India

like

Hi all,

I have a offer from
Perficient and joining in 2 months time. Question :
1: how is the company in terms of job security and projects? I work with web analytics
2: How is the hike and work life balance.
3: Attrition rate
4: Hike is good but will it be a safer vet like Accenture Operations?

Need some views from people working there.

Thanks in advance.

like

Hi everyone.

Any day trader guru here? Suggest me where I can learn trading methods and knowledge. I won't start trading now until I feel my techniques good.

TIA

likesmart

Too quiet in here. Don't forget this week is holy week 😆

Post Photo
likefunny
like

Hi fishies, I am currently working as a Manager at Accenture for one of their MDM project. I have received an offer from Axtria. I have asked for 40% hike on my current CTC. There is no WLB in my current project, hence considering Axtria. If someone can help me understand the work culture in Axtria especially in BI segment.

like

Does anyone know of account management openings in Boston?

like
like

Hi media wizards, I'm working for a small wine and spirits startup. We want to test out IG, Spotify (we have a recorded audio ad) and possibly fb or pinterest. Looking for some help on budget benchmarks for small bands in our industry. Our range is only about 8-10k a month, wondering how much more others are spending? Thanks

like

RESUME HELP! I’ve been out of a job for 7 months now. Can anyone provide me feedback regarding my background and experience on my resume? Also suggest any roles? It’s really tough finding a job. 🙁

like

Over the last few months my job work load has increased to helping more teams and I have been brought on to be a major voice on a product transition (I am one of three non managers helping make the decision and have more responsibility on the project then half the managers. The company is global (30+ teams)) and I can see that it will increase over the next months. The company I work for is known for not promoting internally easy. Anyone have any advice on how to make the transition easier?

Can anyone please refer me for this opening in Wipro?
Thanks in advance.

Post Photo
like

Hi Fishes,

What's the salary bracket for Manager in technology consulting in EY India.

Also would of great help if someone can highlight the responsibilities and WLB. Thanks

like

New to startup ecosystem. What are some resources, books, podcasts that help you along the way? Are there any communities you interact with regularly on Reddit/discord/meetup?

like

Is there special experience or knowledge you'd need to be effective at a GCD level in Pharma? Or is it like any other account, just different products? I'm considering making the switch from general market advertising.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal