Since there are a lot of women here, have you ever had coworkers make remarks about your last name changing, perhaps shortly after you've been married or divorced?

I've had people make comments when I haven't even changed my name at their company yet. Are they looking at my social media? I didn't think much of it at first but I'm beginning to think they're suspicious of me.

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No one ever said a word to me. I changed my signature to First Name (Maiden Name) Married Name for six months and then dropped it for just my married name after that.

Why would they be suspicious? I’m confused what the issue is

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No but it's not up to me to explain their behavior.

I've asked coworkers what their new name is, but really it's only to just reconfirm what they prefer to be called. Nothing more, nothing less. What were the comments you were getting?

I do feel like in general, as soon a a woman gets married it's like people are counting down to the baby. Like...what if they don't want children? Or what if they want kids much later? It's none of their business, but people at work make it their business because they're only looking at the bottom line.

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One higher up: first of all let's talk about your name because you got us all confused. (Laughter)

That was the one that was rude. I was new to the company and they said they wanted to find out what I was up to. Its time to be nice!

Or today, someone asked me if I changed my last name recently and I had not, on their records. I'm wondering where they got that info.

They’re either checking out your social media/LinkedIn - or checked references or happen to know people who knew you by another name.

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I don’t think they care. Most women it’s in your own head. Plenty of ppl get married, get divorced, get pregnant, have miscarriage it’s life. Did you marry a multi millionaire? Why would they care?

Also let's talk about your reply... "most women it's in your own head."

I never took my first or second husband’s last name (and probably won’t for my third, fourth, or fifth). This is really no ones business but mine and does not impact my work or level of professional contribution. At some point you may have overshared information that someone misinterpreted or if you are lucky actually found interesting, that is all. Move on and don’t sweat the trivial stuff — not worth your time.

This answer was a bit gaslighting. I suggest not replying if you don't have a relevant story. It came off as condescending.

Oh yes! I got married in 2010, and my wedding was on a Saturday, very small but I did invite 2 people from work. The pastor announced our names at the end, with no change to my name.

A few weeks later, I went on my honeymoon and was gone for a little over 2 weeks. I returned to work, and my first meeting of the day felt uneasy, but I didn't know why. At the start of my second meeting, a man asked, "So what do we call you now?!". I explained I didn't change my name. Everyone seemed a mix of puzzled and relieved.

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