So I’m terrified of pregnancy/childbirth due to a horrible miscarriage I had. We are trying to go the surrogacy route, my only concern is: would I even qualify for maternity leave? At my company both men and women get the maternity/paternity leave. I assume I would but I’m scared to ask.

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Agree with asking HR. I would assume you would though - who physically carried the baby should be irrelevant. They still exist and need their parents. We had three miscarriages between our first and second daughters being born and it's an absolutely heartbreaking, isolating experience. Really hope you're doing okay as can be expected and that things work out for you guys. Wish you all the best.

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Thank you! It really does suck and on top of all this I have chronic migraines so I’m already out a lot and I just feel like I’m letting everyone down

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You’ll more than likely qualify for something. But I do encourage you to read through the policies and ask so you can take advantage of everything offered. I see policies now being phrased in ways that include maternity/paternity/surrogacy/adoption, more of an umbrella, which I think is good.

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It sounds like I will from everything I’ve heard!

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Read your HR documents.

Usually yes. There may be some disability / delivery leave you are not eligible for, but likely you will be eligible for most they offer.

Sounds like a call into HR is in your future…

Why the fear?
It’s a question or a search

Not an indictment

You were scared to ask
I’m sorry to hear of the trauma to this point and I am not adequately able to share in the full depth of your loss and ongoing struggle

But that is no reason to be “scared…to ask”

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