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I thought about it but I barely like sharing my space with my family let alone a stranger.
We have one (both parents in biglaw), and it’s been great.
One key is that we have a detached studio apartment on our lot, above the garage, so he has his own space, bathroom, entrance, etc. We don’t have a large house so it would have been difficult otherwise.
The flexibility it affords is second to none. When one of us is slow, he gets time off if we decide to stay home or work a half day. Other times, he helps on weekends.
It is also more affordable than I thought. Because we provide a mix of benefits beyond just pay (a place to live, access to a car (put him on insurance), food, etc.), the out of pocket is less than we would spend if we had a more traditional nanny. And most of those don’t cost any extra (no more leftovers, already owned the car/house, etc.).
We also think it is a stronger bond between the kids and caretaker. Even though he’s “off” on weekends, the kids still see him and he’s in their lives.
We did not like having one, but we also did not have a big enough/separate enough space. So she was on top of us and in our space. Particularly my husband felt like he had no privacy. She was always in our kitchen, making tea, standing around. We found it awkward. Perhaps if she had gone out more it would have worked better but she was more of a homebody. Or if she had “worked” a little more when she wasn’t “working”-like, she was in our house but not playing with the kids or partaking in what we were doing.
Mixed bag. Some are good; some are not—and it’s hard to tell via skype interviews. Some like children; some just want to travel and just see it as a one way ticket to the USA. Those things being said, I was able to survive law school while working full time by having an au pair for five years. There was a lot of stress involved, yes, but I also liked the consistency for my children and the fact that they were HOME. It’s not cheap but it’s cheaper than a nanny. Also, say goodbye to personal space no matter how big your home is. Like someone said, they’ll be in the kitchen with you, at dinner with you, watching TV with you, etc. And last but not least, you do have another person in the home so be alert and know that it can put strain on a marriage in multiple ways (no privacy, potential infidelity, etc.) I am still close friends with our first au pair and I know all the horror stories. At the end of the day, it’s like having an 18 year old child who is part of your parenting dynamic yet you have to maintain and in exchange, babysits. For some, that’s better than daycare. I at least liked that I was able to dictate how my children were watched and taken care of (home cooked food, no TV for my kids, daily library visits, etc.) We stopped the program in 2018, and we haven’t looked back. But our kids started school, so we have more options.