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OP, I am a WOC who by nature of industry and expertise demographic has almost exclusively led white males. Coming across your post made me stop and think about it… here are a few things to consider:
Be direct. Don’t beat around the bush or try to drive hidden agendas.
Be consistent. Give the same response and have the same type of reaction regardless of the time of day, person you’re speaking with, or number of times the question is asked. Temper this with new data / evidence, just don’t be swayed by every opinion.
Be respectful. Appreciate their expertise and acknowledge their contributions.
Be clear. Related to but slightly nuanced in relation to being direct. Try to remove ambiguity from your communication.
Be confident. Own your space and don’t be intimidated. Be comfortable in what you know and what you don’t know. You have your role for a reason.
Be humorous. A sense of humor goes a long way in fostering relationships. Just don’t fall back on always being funny at your own expense - a little self deprecating humor is fine, just don’t go so far it erodes credibility (see Be Confident).
Honestly, these are true for just about everyone.
Hmmm.... As a mixed woman who would qualify as a WOC to many, I found what was said here to be very helpful and OP's response to be quite surprising to be honest. It's clear that time/effort was spent putting together what looks like a thoughtful response based on her experience. I even nodded through some of these bullet points as "lacking in nuance" as they may sound to OP. 'Be consistent' resonated most with me, as this is what we all strive for, but is so difficult to deliver on consistently!
Are there any specific issues/concerns you have? I am happy to help however I can.
That response right there tells me why you are having issues. Your attitude is horrific. This has nothing to do with race. You are bringing race into the situation as you expect that to be your protection in the matter. Unless you change your attitude you will continue to have problems where you are or anywhere you work. The world does not owe you anything. Take responsibility for your actions.
As far as your comment about race and gender bias and how people will “twist themselves into a pretzel” to avoid talking about these matter, you are quite wrong. People will discuss such matters when they are valid.
As a woman, I have not had a single issue working my way to the top of my industry. I put in the work necessary to prove myself, took advice & training along the way, had plenty of bumps in the road (some caused by others and some caused by myself and my need to grow as a professional), and never made excuses along the way.
You need to do some serious self reflection.
Still interested in tips for leading white males as a woc
OP, I am a South Asian male, and have faced what I perceived to be discriminatory treatment based on race by client executives, peers, subordinates, etc. I have also seen it happen to my own teams of many races and genders. Here are my takeaways after some introspection over many years. None of these may be relevant for you, but hopefully some of it helps.
1. There is sometimes discomfort in many people with dealing with someone that looks and talks different - it is not always malicious, and it is sometimes subconscious. Many times though, it was just my perception because of my oversensitivity - the same folks behaved the same way in other contexts to others as well, and not even always. Many factors other than my race or accent or looks play a part in how someone behaves with me. And sometimes there was nothing wrong with what they did, even if I thought otherwise.
2. My oversensitivity often led to me acting aggressively, and sometimes talk down to others - after all, offense is the best form of defense, right? Except it is not, because others tend to match your energy and mirror your behaviors over time. I had to tone down and and be calmer, listen more, be patient, demonstrate intelligence and understanding of core issues, and people soon react to that. Ultimately, knowledge, thoughtfulness, action, decisiveness with the right inputs, empathetic talk, etc. make a difference in the workplace.
3. In all contexts, patiently and repeatedly address the issues that need to be discussed till we get a resolution. Ignore other noise but listen actively, however to hidden messages and opinions.
4. I had to learn to engage with colleagues outside of only professional talk. Especially with people that report to you - I needed to get to know them better. What I thought was true of others - an affinity to one’s own race to engage socially, was more true of my own behavior than others. I had to learn to engage differently and engage just…more.
5. If all this comes across as victim blaming, please forgive me. I am narrating my experiences and the mind shifts that made a difference for me. That said, workplace discrimination is real. And there needs to be leadership action, awareness education, policies, etc. in place to prevent them. And most companies do. Even so, I had to change my own perceptions too - a lot, and not extrapolate from a few truly bad experiences to ascribing the same causes and motives to all interactions.
5. Lastly, as a professional, I realized the appearances matter - may not be applicable to your specific situation, because most folks who were born here seem to do this already. But I realized that to be taken seriously in C-Suite and board meetings, many a time (though not always), I had to dress the part - dress in classy understated elegance, groom well, etc., which didn’t come naturally to me. Again, most people seem to do this instinctively, so pardon me for even stating this.
Amazing share!
Any comments about the topic of WOC leading white males?
Have you read any of Carla Harris’s leadership books? She is fantastic
Lead to Win: How to Be a Powerful, Impactful, Influential Leader in Any Environment https://a.co/d/5JfAJi6
Stop thinking about yourself and others through a colored and gender lens. Treat people as people.