What should you do if you are dating someone you really like but you are making way more money than them, as a female, and want to have a traditional family setup?

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Male person here: every woman I’ve ever dated has made more money than me, and I’ve never had a problem with it. Does he have a problem with it, or do you? Because the way your question is phrased, it sounds like you want someone who makes more than you. What do you consider a “traditional” family setup, and why is it important to you?

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+1

Traditional family setup like you want to take time off to be a stay-at-home mom? I'd say with careful financial planning there's still a way to make that happen. But if you want your bf to make more money just for the sake of it, I'd say challenge that old-fashioned value. Is he a hard worker, ambitious, dedicated? You'll likely both grow in your careers together then.

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Lower your expectations or meet someone else

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I married him

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How about get over yourself…

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You are not a fun person are you?

funny

Go find a high value man because this sounds like a massive divorce risk

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I mean high value should be self evident and the huckster definition is probably right. They’re hucksters because they sell fake pathways to real / right answers.

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Traditional family setup?

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who cares. I made 9-10x more than my significant other.

Don’t let family/money influence your life/relationships.

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And do you have a “traditional family setup” like OP wants? Whatever that means…

But all the rich guys are meanies!

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Hypergamy

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Yep

I took this to mean that you want someone who makes decent money so that you could be a stay at home mom. If that’s what you want, you need to talk to him about it. Does he have the career ambition to get to a place where he can support a family? Will he be okay with taking that financial pressure on?

My husband and I make a similar salary. We’ve talked about me quitting and taking the kids out of daycare and me being a stay at home mom. But he feels like having only one income will put too much pressure on him. It’s not what he wants, even though his salary could support us (if we cut a few things including daycare).

So it’s worth a conversation… even with someone who makes more than you.

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Take a lower paying job.

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It really depends, it’s a very personal question that involves a lot of factors - but if he is a couch potato with no (reasonable) aspirations in life I would say - move on.

smart

Like Satchi & Satchi married him too. 7 years ago. Couldn’t be happier. I invested in us and the amazing man I know he is. These days his salary is not too far from mine and our life is the way WE enjoy (and stabilize) it together.

Don’t risk being someone who “knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.” Put your ego and fears aside if you truly love him. Don’t sell him short as there’s a chance that he will one day earn more than you!

What’s traditional in America? And do you really want to live in outdated concepts as the old evolves? If salary is the deal breaker be fair and let him go, and good luck finding a man who earns more, loves you and has the same core beliefs and value systems.

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Easy. I’d never marry somebody who wants to be a stay at home partner. I don’t want to take care of you, I want us to be partners.

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Is he upwardly mobile as in hes not in a dead end career/job with no growth opportunity. If he is you need to have a talk and decide if its worth staying together based on what you want

Traditional can mean many things. Think about what it really means to you personally. Talk to friends. I personally was more traditional before getting married, and then I actually changed some of my views. I don’t think this is unusual. It’s important to consider how you may react to change together as well.

I don’t have a girlfriend

You have the Grateful Dead; you don’t need a girlfriend.

helpful

Wanna break up with him and compare pay stubs?

Do what YOU want.

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