What’s the expectation with attending out of state engagement parties? College friend of my spouse, at a fancy hotel but would probably cost $500/person to attend. Haven’t received a wedding invite but hoping we’re invited

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For that cost, I wouldn’t attend. That’s a lot for an engagement party.

Depends on what costs might look like for bachelor/bachelorette and wedding itself.

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People have engagement parties??

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I don't know that I would go to an engagement party if it was going to cost that much. Especially if you will likely have to spend more than that for the actual wedding. I would probably not go to the party.

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Hmmmm. What is driving your question? Are you wanting to pass because of the expense, but afraid it might impact your getting invited? Wondering if it means you are getting invited to the wedding (most likely,but this big expensive bash may be an indicator of a very expensive destination wedding).
Or,are you asking if you are expected to bring a gift or just a card?

Chances are the date isn't even set. I bet this a meet our future soninlaw event for which they are allowed to invite people. Partly to make it a more fun event and also so he will know people besides his future bride.

Just call them and say you got 500 dollars per person to drop to party.

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