Would love advice/dialog: I see signs of my own faults in my 5 year old. Not sure if I should be concerned. I’ve always been insecure and frequently doubt my abilities. Try to cover it up with humor.

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This is an age old question of nature and nurture. Some of who we are is hard coded and some is developed. Because your child is both nurtured by you and natured (assuming he is biological) it is tough to parse out the root cause of the insecurity. I agree with D1 pause to calibrate how he can build his internal validation vs. external. I have two six year old boys and I see plenty of who I was (great faults and attributes) in them. In some ways we will be hyper aware of our own dark side in our kids because we don’t want to pass on the “bad stuff.” So calibrate your own eyes to the good stuff too. What are some of the good traits he is picking up from you and how do you celebrate that? Is he funny (without going to the basic form of a 5 year old joke with potty talk!?)? Part of what you want your son to have you need to model yourself? What are you doing right? Fear of failure and insecurity are powerful motivators and traits I often see in successful leaders; the issue is that they are only useful to a point. To have your kid be the best they can be, you need to start looking at yourself and your own insecurities and elevate them. We, as parents, I think become more fully aware that we haven’t arrived, but in the busyness of parenting we can forget that we need to take precious time to be present with ourselves and our own growth to ultimately ensure we are doing our best jobs as parents. By pausing and asking the above question, you are doing just that.

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Well said associate partner, couldn't agree with this more!

I see my 5 yr old doing something similar, and my heart breaks when I see him like that, even though he is very smart, and has so many other excellent qualities. I try to keep reminding him how good he is, but doesn’t seem to help his self confidence.
Does this evolve over time? Am I being too concerned too early?
What have your experiences been like?

dad of two here... what are the faults or not so great qualities you are witnessing?

also as best you can try and have him build internal validation vs. external validation so when he does something well say it from an angle of you must be so proud of yourself vs dad is so proud of you.

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