30M - I feel like I’ve turned away so many great women who tick all my boxes but chase after the more attractive but emotionally unavailable ones. I just can’t put my heart into dating the “good” girls and feel guilty so I end things. Is this something that fades over time?

likesmarthelpfulfunny
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You chase emotionally unavailable women because you’re emotionally unavailable

likesmarthelpful

^same

No shade, but this is something you should work on with a therapist. I agree with the comment that you’re seeking unavailable bc you yourself are emotionally unavailable.

However, another layer under this likely points to a self esteem issue.

likefunny

Well, figure out what it is you want. She deserves someone who is sure about her. Don’t waste her, or your, time if you’re just afraid of being alone and starting over.

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Wow this post just triggered me 😂😩😂

likefunny

A friend of mine is like that, but it's a she. She only likes guys not interested in her. Once the guy shows interest, her interest fades... She's seeing therapy now...

likefunny

Is this friend, you?

With sincerity, please talk with a counselor. You need to get a handle on this.

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Tell us about your mother.

smartlikefunny

Hahah actually my mom was great

This is a classic attachment issue.

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To each of its own. Everyone has their own preference. Better keep looking until you find one rather than settling for someone who you don't really like.

That is to say if this is just dating, then try to keep an open mind. It doesn't mean you're bound for life.

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Do you actually know what you want? You still have time to grow out of it/find the right one

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You’re a man so there is technically no danger zone age to worry about. But I have 40+ year old bachelor friends who are lonely and try to message the ones that got away here and there. Once a woman has moved on for good, there is no getting her back so you should be mindful of that. Be picky with who you decide to start your legacy with

funny

Yeah a lot of what I said is bs, I guess I suck at sarcasm 😂

Remember what happens to looks as we age. Be careful who you chose. Your partner will impact every aspect of your life. Make attractiveness a binary box to check and stop chasing “more” attractive.

30F
Here

I would say I have always been looking for the guy with the great career who is ok looking who could be a good dad / father .

Now I don’t care haha I’m absolutely at this point just wanting someone who shares the same values, is fun , and that I’m 💯 attracted to

Give yourself some grace
Dating is hard it’s time consuming it’s draining
Don’t even get me started on dating apps haha

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