Alright Dads let's do a Consulting Dads marital intimacy survey (inspired by the other dead bedroom post below)...
A) Your and spouse ages
B) # and ages of kids
C) # of times per week you and spouse have sex (fractions OK)
D) # of times per week you wish you and spouse would have sex
E) your 0 (worst) - 10 (best) rating of current overall sexual satisfaction with spouse
F) your 0 - 10 rating of overall martial and relationship intimacy (overall attachment) with spouse

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A) I’m 42 and she’s 42 today (birthday booty maybe? 🤔)
B) 1 daughter 16 yrs old
C) .038
D) once per week
E) 2
F) 1
15.5 years married. She got pregnant 3 months after I got out of the military. I wasn’t ready to settle down, but I did for my daughter’s sake. Sex was great until after she had our daughter. Her hormones have been jacked up ever since. She’s fought female problems for years until finally having a partial hysterectomy. This is the main reason I’ve stayed with her. I feel like she wants to have a better relationship. Her body just won’t allow it and that’s not her fault. She’s an awesome mother, but nonexistent when it comes to physical interaction. We’ve gone the counseling and therapy route, but it always ended with ways to fix her issues with physical contact. Which ultimately put her on the defensive. I’ve changed everything about myself to try to help, but nothing has worked. It would destroy her if I left, but I can’t live the rest of my life this way. I’m starting to lose the desire and have issues of my own when we do have sex. This bothers me more than anything now. I’ve had the libido of a 16 year old all my life and now I have trouble finding joy in anything sexual. We’ve even talked about me finding a side partner and that got shot down fast. No idea what I should do now.

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D1 that sounds like a really difficult situation. My heart goes out to you (and your wife) for daily struggle you feel.

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A: 42 , 42
B: 4 kids: 14, 12, 9, 6
C: 0.5 x per week
D: 1 x per week
E: 5 sexual satisfaction
F: 6 marital satisfaction

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Seems like this is solid and sustainable. Great job.

A) 49 and 46
B) 6 and 8
C) 1.5
D) 3
E) 8
F) 8

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SM1 living his best life here. My hat's off to you on a truly special relationship with your spouse.

A) 37 and 37
B) 2 kids 5 and 3
C) .75x a week
D) 3x a week
E) 3 overall sexual satisfaction
F) 7.5 overall marital satisfaction (E.G. Attachment)
After 3+ years in single and marital counseling C) E) and F) are all increasing and the hard work does feel like it's finally paying off

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