Alright grill me I don't care. But I matched with a guy on an app and we have great conversations. However, after going on a few dates with him, it's obvious he looks nothing like his pictures. He has grown his hair out a lot and grown king facial hair and it's just not what I was into when we matched? I really thought he looked different and something about his hair being long and so greasy makes it hard for me to be into him. I know I sound awful but what do I do / say?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Wtf? You don’t need to say anything. Just end it.

like

You don’t have to do or say anything. Don’t date him if you don’t like him.

like

No need to say anything, just move on.

like

My opinion is that more women (speaking as one) need to be decisive about not continuing to see men they aren’t into. I’ve observed men are good at this and don’t give it a second thought. As women, we qualify and rationalize everything. I’m in my late 20s and the older I’ve gotten, the quicker I am to end things w a man if I’m not feeling him anymore, and the quicker it has led me to better prospects. Every guy has been an upgrade from the last. Now my thinking is: if a guy is going to have access to me and my time, he should make it worthwhile because history has shown me that I have no shortage of options.

likehelpful

I needed to see this

like

Just be straightforward and casually say how attractive you thought he looked in X and Y photo, has he ever thought about going back to that style, etc.

like

Is this really a dilemma for you lol. Do you not get out much?

What's odd is that after you hung out once and you realized his photos weren't current, and you don't like his appearance, that you keep going out with him.

Options:

End it

End it with feedback and tell him he doesn't look like his pictures

Decide you like him and don't end it

Probably not an option:

Make him go back in time to be hotter like he used to be in his old photos

like

I kept going out with him because I wanted to give him a chance and also give myself a chance to see if it's something I can overlook. After seeing that it's greasy and unkept it's become an issue for me that I feel is keeping me from wanting to form anything meaningful hence why I've reached out to this group. I am looking for advice on how to communicate this to him without coming off as super rude because I don't feel like I have a place to tell him what he should and shouldn't do with his hair

I hope this guy can see your red flags and end it first. Feeling betrayed over hair? Lol

Jfc hair can be changed just bring it up casually about how it looks different.

What if he has plans to grow it out so he can donate it? Growing out hair for men is a journey and you seem to not care about his feelings on it.

likefunny

RSM1 you sound very bitter. This woman doesn't owe anything to this guy. If she is not attracted, she doesn't have to keep seeing him.

like

You should follow your heart! You should feel no pressure to end it if you are not attracted to him.

like

I think appearance is directly correlated to how that person feels about themselves. You deserve someone who takes care of themselves.

likeuplifting

Its not your job to save people from themselves. "Thanks for the date but I dont think we're a good match, good luck!"

like

i get this, but like opposite. I was able to grow out a mullet and moustache combo during WFH but ever since returning to the office I have been clean

like

I always give feedback. Almost always. It's rare that someone says "thanks you're right, I'll change!"but it's not never, and feedback is especially effective after someone hears the same thing multiple times.

So if you aren't into his nasty greasy hair you should tell him that (a) he should only be using current photos that accurately depict his appearance right now and (b) you COULD add on specifics about the hair but....I'd lean on the side of skipping it. If he quizzes you about the first feedback -- "what do you mean I don't look like my photos!?" Then you could say, "well your hair for example is significantly different right now and hair plays a huge role in someone's overall vibe and attractiveness."

If they don't care, if they do care, either way, just move on, next.

helpful

Long*

I think the point of me posting here was that I do like our conversations and dates and he's very sweet and we enjoy each other's company. But I just don't feel like it's my place to tell him what to do with his hair, I just feel mislead and feel like things could go further if he just went back to the old haircut he had posted in his pics! Lol but thank you all for the perspective

I’m a male. I say just talk to him. Could just be a pandemic phase. Or could legitimately be growing it out.

like

Thanks for your perspectives guys, I needed to hear it

Related Posts

Been on a few dates with this guy and he literally keeps using the washroom every 10-15 mins!

He would leave to use the washroom like 3 times in one meal- has anyone else experienced this? I just feel so weird about it

like

Could anyone suggest a good ladies pg in Marathalli area? Preferably single sharing or double.

like

I am sorry, is this LinkedIn or some dating blog?

Post Photo
funnylike

If I could go back again, I wouldn’t have sex. I’d wait. “Someone special” is cliche, but nothing I’ve had was meaningful. Fun, sure, but not meaningful.

likehelpful

Any 🐠es interested in having a meet up this month?

like

Which is better. Dating apps or meeting someone in person?

like

Why do guys don't ask girls on dates anymore? I know this guy likes me, he already told me friends so but hasn't acted or done anything in respect to us hanging out alone, such as get food

like

Asker outers- make reservations. I’m tired of going to dinner or drinks and finding out my date’s plan is winging it and the place doesn’t have space. Make a reservation!! It takes one min!!

likehelpfuluplifting

26M looking for F in the Chicago area

Anyone else’s love life so DRY that you find yourself having a crush on an older man at work who is in senior leadership? I keep it professional, but I feel like I’m doing something so bad by having this crush.

like

Hi. Can I bounce some ideas for a spot off one of ya?

Any NY F fish want to grab a drink this evening? 31M here.

like

It’s a crazy feeling for someone semi close to you, to of “been in competition” with you. For years. And you’re just now noticing. Like, girl. Is that why you act so conversationally constipated from time to time? You’re just a hater? 😂😂

funny

Looking for a girl travel partner to explore banglore city outskirts. Anyone interested?

Anyone up for a date this weekend in Pune. M29 here.

Kya pata maa ko bahu mil jae.. 🙊🙈

Accidentally baited a libertarian last night. This from a guy who spent $600 on a 1st date. How does someone get so untrusting about the govt but so trusting about a theory at the same time?!

Post Photo
like

if youve been talking to someone for 3 months and u catch them in a lie by stalking their friend on IG, should you call them out or is that too crazy

like

Recently divorced after 10+ yrs (40M, Denver)... Starting to figure out dating again. What age difference is it too cringe to try to date?... 10 yrs younger ok? If you're low 30'sF us a 40M in play?

like

New in town, where do I go to meet people (for friends and dating)?

like

Last night I slept over my boyfriend’s apt. We are sexually active together but this time he woke up at 4/5am and started fingering me and eating me out. I was somewhat awake but I don’t know how to feel about this. Thoughts?

likefunny

More Posts

So do higher ups (managers/directors/etc) in FFD talk to each other about the progress of seniors and associates in a similar manner to how the staff are ranked during audit roundtables??

like
like

Hi,

I answered apti and coding round last week. I got emails informing result. Recruiter was supposed to schedule 1st Technical round. Till now no update.

Has he ghosted me?

Skill: Drupal

Can anyone from nagarro please check if opening still there for Drupal or not?

like

What are the travel opportunities for a functional consultant at PWC AC Banglore and also any info about moving abroad internally

like

Looking for a Christmas present for my girlfriend. Would like to stay under $250 (I’m a 1st year staff shes in grad school so don’t have much money). She likes gold — I’m thinking of getting her a necklace, which I believe I can only get gold plated in my price range. Does anyone have any suggestions of good brands to buy? First time looking at jewelry websites and they seem kinda gimmicky and would like one I can trust and get good quality. Thank you!

like

Bonus for EY S&O?

likefunny

Are there any BS areas that are getting bonuses?

like

Hi,
What would be monthly in hand salary?
Is other allowance given in full ?

Post Photo
like

Have about 1500 XRP bought at $0.21 - hold or sell for XLM?

What designation does UBS offer to a person with non technical profile with 11 years of experience?

Recs for barber for asian hair? Thanks in advance.

like

Salam, given the recent hiring surge at MBB, I'm thinking of applying. I was wondering if someone would be open to chat, I want to learn more about the work and culture at these firms. Thank you

like

I’m a financial advisor with jpmorgan and i verbally accepted a new job in private banking with another firm. This is my first time transferring licenses. Should i wait to give my two weeks notice until my new firms hr department clears me and gives me a start date or as soon as i sign the offer letter?

like

Share your best covid recipes. I need some inspiration

like

How are you feeling? Great, tired, burnt out? Share your feeling below!

like

I got to know that PwC is hiring very aggressively for cloud roles.
Can anyone refer me please?

Hi all, I have an offer of 12lpa from tiger, however the other offer that I hold is 13 (11 fixed and 2 variable). Would it be wise to ask for a counter offer? (4 yoe)

like

Can anyone please tell me what is sapience buddy app? I observed it got installed automatically on my machine.

Tips for writing a good mock PR line to sell an idea? Thanks.

like

Additional Posts in New York City

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wishing you a successful year full of health, wealth, love and prosperity!

like

If you’re not into drinking/partying, what are some ideas that 2 people can do in NYC on New Year’s Eve? (Except the ball drop). Brand new to the city, appreciate the suggestions. TIA

like

Verizon or new T-Mobile+sprint

like

Moving to NYC with my girlfriend. We are 26. Budget is 4K-4500 for a 1br in a luxury building. What neighborhoods should we be targeting? More so foodies than bar people. Quieter probably preferred.

like

Hey fishes! Need some advice - I’m looking at apartments by Liberty Harbor in downtown Jersey City. I’m seeing mix reviews online. Anyone live/lived there?

like

Does it make sense to move back to NYC in February? Scared to go back if COVID cases are going back up

like

Are any of your firms providing vaccine exemptions?

like

My summer sublet option just fell through. Anyone have a 1bedroom sublease in Manhattan available around late May or early June through mid/late August?

like

Happy New Year Everyone! And remember to write 2 instead of 1. Have a Great New Year. Stay safe.

likehelpfulupliftingfunny

If i’m planning to move to the city (from philadelphia) and start a lease with a friend, what’s the best way to approach the apartment search? should i just visit for a week or two to look at places and then drive all my stuff up? should i just bring everything and sublet for a month? what’s a realistic time frame to secure a lease and then move in? any advice would be appreciated, thanks!

like

Is 2 weeks of vaca looked down upon? Haven’t seen anyone on my team do that...

like

How much did your nyc wedding cost? (All inclusive). Trying to figure out if destination wedding in Mauritius is cheaper

like

Anyone here moved to Edgewater. I am getting a terrific deal and I am very seriously contemplating the move mostly for money saving reason with a lot of upcoming personal expenses. JC has become quite pricey too with no good one bedroom under 3k.
31, engaged, fiancé on west coast law school, I don’t ever go to bars.
Have to go into work perhaps once or twice every 2 weeks only.
Pls DM if you know more. General safety, cleanliness, delivery, Instacart routes etc.

like

Where do first year associates / business analysts typically live in NYC? What’s a realistic rent budget?

like

Is Meetup legit and a good way to meet people? Looking to find new things to do with new people

like

Minimalistic bed recs?

like

Long shot: does anyone know of a good worker’s comp attorney? My company is contesting the claim and the judge advised that I get an attorney. I’m based in Brooklyn.

I know I can look at Google/Yelp reviews, but I’d love some help digging through the endless morass, to find a reputable firm. TIA!

likesmart

Relocating to NYC. Lived in crappy FiDi, Gramercy and UES apartments at beginning of my career. I have been away from NY for a good while and would like to know what’s the downside of living in Jersey City? Now that I am able to afford Manhattan, the price and space you get in JC is weirdly becoming appealing. Thoughts on the location? Will likely be working from home 3 to 4 days a week.

like

What’s reasonable rent for a decent 1bdr in Hell’s Kitchen? I want enough room for a wfh desk not in my bedroom

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal