Any tips for a soon to be dad of a second child? 3 years difference between the two. I know it is WAY different than expecting the first. We have 8 weeks to go. Any advice for before, during, after?

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2nd is way easier cuz this will all be natural. You’re going to be great!

OH make sure you hype your older one. Be like “you’re the man/woman of the house now. You have the most important job. We’ll rely on you to help us pick things up and to do things on your own. We know we can trust you. We need you to be a super hero for your brother/sister. Protect them and help them. We’re really looking for your leadership. There are times when we can’t pay attention to you, but it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because we trust you to be the hero we need. You’re going to be such a good big brother/sister!”
…I mean make that age appropriate of course but really hype it up

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My experience- pamper your elder one. I miss my alone time with him. All other friends with one kid still have their kids so pampered. My elder one is now big brother ☹️🤦‍♂️

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Same gender?

I have two boys and they are two years apart. They are also quite different - one is athletic and loves sports and the other is very small for his age and doesn't really care about sports (but he likes going to the playground and is still active), they like different foods, and they had different milestones with everything such as walking, potty training, riding a bike, etc.

Use your experience to help, but don't expect the second to be the same as the first.

Also, enjoy the milestones. You have another opportunity to experience all of the "firsts".

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Different gender. Really good tips here. Thanks!

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It won’t be nearly as hard as you think. Recently went through the same thing. The one thing that you need to consider is that you are older too, the late nights and less sleep will impact you more.

Love on your older one and make them feel special and included, hype them up as much as possible as a big brother/sister they will get into it.

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Thank you!

The good part is that you’ve seen this before - you don’t have to worry as intently as you did the first time around, and you can be more purposeful in spending quality time with the older one. During the first few weeks, make sure to include the older one in “jobs” for the family, and breaks for fun stuff. After the first few weeks, when things settle down, maybe do a bigger / more special thing with them to celebrate all the good work they’ve been doing.

You’ll do great :)

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My oldest and second son are three years apart. Things get a bit harder. You’ll have exactly 50% more children. But that pales in comparison from no kids to one. Not even the same ballpark.

I have three boys now. I was worried I wouldn’t love one as much as the other or I would have favorites. That was my biggest fear leading up to the second. But multiple kids has taught me a lot about my capacity for love. The more I give, the more I have to give. It’s just simply not zero sum.

All that said, your time and your sleep are definitely zero sum. So rest up!

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Adding a second dog to our one dog was hard enough. Can’t imagine adding a second. (As we continue to try for a second …. 😆)

Congrats!

OP, are you me? Literally am in the same boat as you! My son is turning 3 in early May and our baby girl will be born right around the same time. We’ve honestly been really stressed too thinking how we’re going to make it work after my paternity leave runs out. We definitely will need to send our first to pre-school.

Following this thread for suggestions but I agree with other people here, I’ve been told by a lot of folks to make sure the eldest child gets tons of attention so that they don’t get jealous or feel left out

❤️

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