Anyone else miss their relationship with their wife pre-kids? It’s not like it’s horrible, but just not feeling very connected, a lot more tension overall, and just not the same. Maybe it passes...

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We dropped some obligations on the weekend like brunch with friends or church for long breakfasts. Now we have family breakfasts and then kids go play after 20 minutes and the two of us just talk for another hour or two. Makes a big difference

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I’m still mid-kids, but I don’t think it passes. If I understand correctly, we all keep changing. Keep supporting each other, keep loving each other.

Yes it changes; yes I miss the days in our 20’s. The good news is it’s just a new opportunity to discover how much you love her Make a commitment to connect with your partner. It takes a way more effort with every kid you add and every year they get older. Carve out time to talk, have fun, be intimate, etc. my wife and I have reinvented our together time repeatedly. Each time was worth the results.

I had to consciously re-fall in love with my wife because it's like we are both totally different people now.

Dynamics are, well, dynamic. There is much change associated with bringing a new human into the world, its only natural that you have less time and energy for one another as you are focused on the needs of your children. My experience (3 teens now) is that things are hard early on but eventually when the kids become self sufficient you can rekindle what you once had - the trick is not losing the connection over the long run. Definitely take time for one another, frequently, but don't expect it to be like it once was - embrace the change and the opportunity for your relationship to grow in different ways.

It gets better.

SM1 - That definitely makes sense

Miss those days so much.. !! But love my kids app much too.. gain some lose some I guess

Do things where it is just you and your wife. It may seem hard, but fight through it and figure out a way to be one on one with your wife. Weekly dinners, weekend get always once or twice a year, weekend hike. People will say, you can’t do that with a baby and they are wrong. Figure out a support for the baby (family or other) and take the time to focus just on each other during those times. It totally gets better, but feel like it was never not great

My wife and I just recently talked through some of the same disconnection you’re experiencing. We’re 5 years in with two young kids and I have the feeling it never goes back to being the same as before kids. I’m ok with that because we have the chance to keep rediscovering each other and recommitting ourselves to each other. It’s hard as hell, my friend. I get it. Keep telling her how you feel and be vulnerable. Tell her you miss her and show how you want to reconnect. So worth it!

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