Anyone feel like they can’t go over a breakup / person and it’s haunting them all these months / years later and they’re self-sabotaging any new relationships

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I'm with you here. I still go all-in into a relationship, but given the traumatic experiences I've gone through, I'm anxious, have trust issues, over-apologize for being me, and overthink. I don't really know what a healthy relationship is nowadays. I try to cope by keeping my reactions to myself until I reflect on:

What exactly is bothering me?
Why am I bothered?
Is there actual evidence that supports this or is this just me overthinking and projecting onto someone?
If they did something, did they do something once and now I'm upset or has this been recurring?
How bothered am I?

I won't/don't always get it right but I think this helps me from jumping to a conclusion based on my history. I also am upfront about my history / vulnerabilities, too, so they understand my perspective and how it has impacted me.

like

This is super helpful. I’m dealing with this currently and this list might just help me out. Thanks for sharing. It’s tough out there but we have to keep trying.

like

Think this is more typical for younger folks (generally) and toxic relationships. It really all depends on how things ended, but it sounds like you didn’t really get closure which is difficult. If it’s truly been years, you need to find a way to move on without this person in your life.

like

You’re not alone. Just started dating someone after almost 5 years and sometimes I look at the last relationship and start thinking about things. I’ve to actively try not to sabotage this relationship. I always think about her when I do activities with my new gf. It’s tough but have to move on. Journaling has helped and if you think the person you’re dating is close enough you could talk to them. Don’t go through it alone.

like

Ughh I so so feel this! its like no matter how much self love and healing I have done I always have some thought of him everyday - truly any other advice for how to get closure your own way? :/

like

Related Posts

I just started a new job and am about to be 36. I want to start a family but I feel like I should be waiting due to this new job. However I don’t want to miss out. I’m thinking about freezing my eggs

like

Can a relationship survive with two tops/bottoms? I met a guy I really liked but we are… on the same side

like

Married men of this group,
What advice would you like to give to the younger generation who are single/about to get married?

like

What are you all reading other than maternity help books? Any book recommendations for after baby is born? Mainly around how to keep the baby safe from injuries and incidents.

like

My mother in law is dying of cancer but is also a toxic person. My husband has mixed feelings around letting her dump all of her emotions that should be handled with a therapist on him. Beyond this,

like

How do you know if you have outgrown someone? Known my boyfriend for 2 years but have dated seriously only for 6 months. Confused as why i’m feeling this way.

like

Tips for helping kids stay on task during zoom? Our little class (9 kids) has been doing zoom circle times twice a week but I noticed they are really distracted. Also every meeting a kid leave...

like

My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months now. We talk every single day online and recently I went to visit her for around a month. It was great and it seemed like the relationship was stronger than ever. But one week back after visiting her, I felt a strange detachment from her and our conversation topic got repetitive and stale quick. Any advice?

like

Our 10 month old bengal with his new 3 month old companion. He loves her so much already.

Post Photo
likeuplifting

Did yall hear about the Chicago mom who had her kid taken away because she wouldn't accept that her child was transgender? As a parent, that's actually kind of scary that the government would that with no basis of abuse or neglect. Smh

like

I am done trying to pretend everything is fine at work. The higher ups on the team kept asking if I’m doing anything fun for the weekend during video calls. I felt the pressure to make something up but I just can’t. I’ve been struggling with depression, loneliness, anxiety with immigration and the fact that I might be out of work soon cuz my visa is expiring. I’m thousands of miles away from my family and I just want everything to stop. But when my manager kept asking in front of everyone am I

like

This bowl has been quiet and I see partners commenting on odd posts around fishbowl so I figure you need more fodder: partners, did any of you have parents that travelled as much as you do?

like

Why doesn't my wife get that it's just me and the great dane now. She making this awkward wanting some room in the bed.

funnylike

How do I start the divorce process? Do I have to get a lawyer? Help...!

I used to be so devoted to my academics that I kind of forgot to make some close friends. How do you reignite your social life after college?

like

I’m thinking about having a baby on my own this year. Every marriage (2) man changed his mind after vows. I’m over waiting on them! I’m 38 and work at a private law firm. Anyone here been here and done that? Joys, pains, regrets, triumphs?!

like

The sudden death of a friend has made me realize that my obsession with goals has caused me to miss out on so much of my life. How can I learn to refocus and make time for the people in my life?

likesmart

Would it be weird to send my ex a goodbye letter in the mail? He leaves for a military deployment soon for almost 1 year, and I generally care / miss him.

like

I need friends. Feel lonely when everyone else is partying up.

like

More Posts

Guys, have you gone through some traumatic experiences, or realized somethings that unnecessarily cause you to be too aware instead of living your best life? If so, how were you able to reconnect...

like

When my non advertising friends complain about their 50 hour work weeks

Post Photo
likefunny

Filing for marriage gc, does the sponsoring spouse require a copy of birth certificate or is passport fine?

like

How to become good friend of manager?

like

When you realize making 6 figures doesn't mean you don't act as an admin assistant

like

Deloitte experienced hires, who all received written offers and in process of visa/ onboarding, have you heard back anything about hiring freeze? Or recruiter asked you to delay joining date?

My visa got submitted couple of days back and waiting for decision. When I reached out to recruiter to give her an update and mentioned once there’s decision will discuss on the start date before putting my 2 weeks, she mentioned “Yes, we should talk before you put notice” - Am I overthinking? Deloitte

like

Started a new role in FAAS/CMAAS/AAS last year and won’t hit my charge hour goal even with prorating for the portion of the year I was employed. Any idea how this will impact my performance feedback?

like

Im a RN and took on a new role working in Home Health. I chose this position because My husband & I recently moved to PA with our 2 kids (1&3), with no family available for his residency program with a hospital. If you know that life, I’m pretty much the main parent for our kids. I don’t want to work in the hospital/floor work anymore; nor do I believe the hrs are flexible enough. I need a job that’s flexible for the kids but pays >$44/hr. Maybe remote or hybrid? Please help w/ suggestions.

like

I believe improving one’s sales conversion rate is something everyone want to improve but no one wants to admit they would like to work it. Funny how lawyers will spend thousands on seminars to improve trial skills. But this topic is not discussed in our profession. I have read books in sales. But am unable to find any for lawyers. I want convert every lead I can. Does anyone have tips, books, cle’s or studied this topic?

like

Can someone give me an insight on Allstate interview process and interview questions for FSD (full stack developer)?

like

Pwc salary structure? Benefits

Urgent

like

Hello Guys,

I joined
Cognizant recently, the project interview calls which I am getting is not from my base location.
I have the location constraint, should I wait for the right opportunity or raise this concern to ADP team so they can look in to it?

As per ADP policy, one should not have any constraints and take the project as FCFS basis.
Cognizant

like

BlockFi “potential bankruptcy” victim here… I feel terrible with thousands of $ locked away. Advised a relative to do the same a while back as things were looking good for a while. What are everyone’s thoughts? Are we totally shit out of luck?

like

Do we have managerial round in LTI or only L1 and L2

like

How do you deal with ADD and being able to clearly explain your ideas? Are meds the answer? Really don’t want to do that. Already in therapy. Plz help.

Is it worth it to do pitch competitions, accelerators and cohorts?

like

Can you take and drive leased car from US in Canada?

like
like

Additional Posts in Singles NYC

Would folks be interested in a NYC singles of fishbowl party? I know a solid venue

like

new to the bowl, just saying hi!

like

How's everyone doing this weekend?

like

What’s everyone a/s in this bowl?

like

Would you marry someone that’s unemployed or doesn’t want to work? What’s the minimum salary you can accept from your SO ?

like

Looking for a running buddy in the city. DM me for deetz!

like

33M returning to NYC on Saturday. Anyone up for a Sunday brunch, cocktails, or a Central Park workout?

like

Hey Fishes, looking for safe quiet places for a single person which are quiet but within ~45 min to times square area?

like

What bars do men in their 30s frequent?

like

Any 40+ women here interested to make new friends? 40+ man here.

like

Single 25 F. Any single males 25-30 yrs on here?

like

What does being a chief in a bowl mean?

like

Meet up Announcement: start your Labor Day weekend off right! Tomorrow, 9/4 @ 5:30PM. Heckscher Playground. Comment if you want to be added to the group!

like

Anyone up for watching the Euro 2020 finals this Sunday? M30

like

Any ladies up for a drink this weekend?. Have the next 5 days off from work. 33 M

like

Any ladies want to go to happy hour tomorrow? 💁‍♀️ here

like

Any NY F fish want to grab a drink this evening? 31M here.

like

Damn! Why's it so silent in here 😅 35M NYC

like

Single 30M working at a tech firm.
I would love to buy shoes for a few ladies

likefunny

How about everyone plan a get together on a weekend in a bar know each other and build this community?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal