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If you want to prioritize your career over everything else, then just be clear about it in your head. Have a spouse that believes in the same. Because your partner will bear the full brunt of having a child and possibly raising it. I’m not being judgmental, just expanding on what this decision implies.
I think a workplace will need to be incredibly toxic that creates negative perceptions about taking parental leave. But they exist, so just be very clear about your priorities in life.
Please take the leave. Worse case scenario you get promoted one year slower…but 15 years from now, you’ll have the memories. If they hold parental leave “against” you, then you should go to another firm. When I had my son (at AlixPartners) the entire team was so supportive and my clients even accommodated me when I was in charge of getting him off to daycare the following year. There are a lot of parents out there who will give you grace either because they never got it or because they wish someone had shown them some.
If you’re looking for a different firm a year from now, I think both Alix and Strategy& are very parent friendly.
Hard no, my husband was an SM and continuing the journey to PMD and I was an M continuing the journey to SM. Taking leave had zero impact on that progression. Still received great YE and most importantly, had the time as a family.
Consulting is one of the best places to actually take parental leave. Unlike other jobs where you fill one specific role, in consulting you’re project based. If you’ve done good work on previous projects, those leaders will hire you when you become available again, including when you’re back from parental leave.
As a mom of two, I highly encourage you to take your full parental leave. That doesn’t mean I encourage you to sit around the house. Find a hobby. Help your partner get out. If one of you is birthing a baby, the recovery is not just physical, but also emotional. Bringing a new member to the family is also emotional. Create space for the emotional, physical, mental adjustments that will allow you to come back to work better than ever bc your home life is structured.
Take the leave. These days, some people in the workplace will actually respect you less if you don’t take it. (Eg, what does say about your values? If you’re not loyal and supportive to your own family, can you be trusted?)
Must be nice to have the choice as a man. Think about that when you’re making the choice and later in your career when you have the chance to support women who don’t have a choice as to whether or not to take leave
Tell me, how would it hurt your reputation?
To continue the thought… would you think less of a man who took parental leave after joining your team? As an associate director I have to imagine you’re in this position with folks below you?
Caring for a new baby is easier with 4 hands instead of 2. If you are willing to give up your bonding time with your baby (echo everyone saying family bonding > work) I would recommend that you at least have family or hired help to support your spouse for as may weeks / months as possible.
This is an observation from friends who didn’t get leave. Everyone I know chooses to take their full leave (moms and dads).
Please take the leave and enjoy the time bonding with your baby. I'm just coming back from leave for the second time. Yes, there's an adjustment getting my network used to working with me again and yes, I have to shop for a project - but I wouldn't change that time with my baby for anything. My career progression hasn't been affected and I still got a good pay increase and bonus when I returned.
At the end of the day, your family will be there for you. Your career is just necessary for getting paid, it's not who you spend your life with. My mother had a high powered career, didn't take leave when I was born, and put her work over everything. Now she's been divorced 4 times, I'm no contact with her, and she's spending her retirement alone. Choose your family, putting your job first is not worth the price.
My husband took half his leave, which was short to begin with, and I’m still pissed about it. Take the full leave.
You can’t get back time with your baby (or kids).