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Any trans in this bowl from India ?
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So I do this from Westchester and I’m not going to lie it’s tough. I’m lucky that I have a somewhat flexible schedule. I typically take an 8:15 train (so I do wake up, breakfast and getting ready with kids) and am in office around 9:45. I leave as close to 5 as possible and since bedtime for my kids is 7:30 and 8:30 pm (3 and 7 year olds), I often get to see them for half and hour + before bed. WFH one day a week when I take them to school and or daycare to stay connected to their teachers, etc. Not easy even with this flexibility.
My advice is that you have to be really clear on your priorities before you make that decision. Here’s my story. When my daughter was 1, we moved to northern Westchester just outside Peekskill. We loved the nature and the space (not to mention we bought a giant, frozen in time mid century house with a mortgage payment less than the rent on our 1 bed apt in Harlem). I was also lucky that I have a very flexible work situation, only coming in for client meetings so working from home 2-3 days a week. I started out taking the train but that was just over an hour on the train, 15 mins to the train station, 20 after the train to the office. It was a drag. So then I started driving which shaved off about 30 mins on average but I can’t work in the car, other than calls. So if I wanted even a few minutes home while my kid was awake, I was working when I got home at night or early in the morning before she woke up (and she wakes up really early).
Some other challenges- with a kid that young, if you have a partner, you have to have two cars because cabs/ubers are basically a joke anywhere further north than Croton and your kid falls asleep too early to get a pickup from your partner.
In the end, we couldn’t hack it because my priority was really having as much time with my daughter as possible. So about a year ago, when my daughter was 3.5, we decided to leave. However we’d also made too much of a life up there to just go back to the city. Now we’re renting out our house and we’re renting an apartment in Yonkers literally right in back of the Greystone train station (35 min train) until we make a decision that we know we can hang with for the long term. HaHa - what a ridiculous situation.🙄
This is why I think it’s important to assess your priorities. Mine was time with my kid - I genuinely like hanging with her. That’s not everyone though and that’s ok. Maybe you just want to have nice weekends in more nature or a big house, 🤷♀️ everyone is different.
I also feel like I had it really easy because both my boyfriend and I have flexible jobs where we don’t have to go in all the time. So that’s another data point.
Last thing to mention - at one point a few months ago there was a big thread about this on the NYC board and it seemed completely split along gender lines. Every guy was like “it’s awesome, I have such nice weekends” and every women was like “ugh, it’s probably not worth it” - I’m generalizing to some extent, of course but it might be worth digging through there for some more perspectives.
OP - I feel so bad - it wasn’t the NYC bowl, it was the advertising bowl. Here it is https://joinfishbowl.com/post_v10q2
I love our move to new rochelle. I get home kind of late (7pm) but i guess that's to be expected when you work fulltime in the city.
Our weekends are great out here, and i don't regret for one second moving here from the city.
I walk my daughter to school in the am, and take a 8.45am train in.
I love my area, around webster ave between coligni and to the high school. There are shops all over north ave in that area
My commute downtown is 1.5hrs ish door to door and I have an 8mo old. Most mornings I don’t see here because she sleeps “late” and I take a 7:15 bus into the city. I leave the office between 4-4:30 and am home/picked up by 5-5:30 so I have at least 1.5hrs with her in the evening. I WFH 2x a week so I can be “with” her while my mom watches her but it sucks and I know being a SAHM isn’t for me, but I want it to be so badly.
I don’t have a contract. It’s something I discussed with my boss.
I’ve been doing a 1.5-2 hour commute each way from Princeton for the past 15 years. It was brutal when my 3 kids were young but now they’re tweens/teens and it’s much more manageable. Like the previous posters said, it’s all about setting priorities and having flexibility.
You have to set your priorities & that’s just that. I generally leave the office at 4, home by 6, but work on the commute. Then am offline a few hours with the kids & back on as needed. Just tell your people what your boundaries are & protect them, as family is where it counts. But - the commute wherever you are in this situation will always suck! Good luck.
Do you find this affects your ability to get freelance jobs? And when do you lay this schedule out for them? Where do you commute from? I am also freelance.
There’s a lot of us advertising people around Hastings, Sleepyhollow, Tarrytown, Peekskill and Croton. It’s difficult commuting but if you can have one wfh a week OR every other week it makes life easier. Whole Foods delivery (finally) and a good cleaning lady also help. What also helps is being at an agency close to grand central. I love it up here and daycare is significantly cheaper. I wouldn’t look further than croton the train ride gets too long.
Agreed on the train but also, fresh direct, Whole Foods etc don’t deliver past croton. It’s part of the reason why Greystone has worked out for us. Not only is the commute way closer but we also save a lot of time by having all of the same delivery conveniences of the city. And yet we’re walking distance to downtown Hastings, parks etc.
Did the commute as a freelancer from Westchester with a 3YO. I did the morning routine and then my husband did drop off and pick up at pre-school. We were walking distance to metro north, and that is the only way I could have made it work. I often scrambled to make it home by 7pm for a little QT before bed, and in the thick of a production I missed my fair share of goodnight kisses. But my young one was fairly understanding. Plan to factor in a lot of extra Uber$$. The real luxury was driving in every now and again. I think it would have been too touch with a child younger than 3- sleep training, potty training, etc. I definitely would have needed to be closer to home for all of that. And I have no idea how I would do it beyond Westchester. Will your partner be working in/around Hudson?
Pretty much what everyone has said. I have a toddler, and now WFH 3x a week and go in to the office the other days...it’s been a Godsend. I do pick up and dropoff on my wfh days, hubby does the other days.
Love White Plains, great for walks in the warmer weather and lots of activities for kids and families.