Dads - I’m in a pretty bad rut. What are some small/big things that you do for your wife/partner to keep the romance not only alive, but healthy?

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We really try to make the most of post kid bed time. We play card games and chess a lot. This has legit been one of the best things for our relationship. Fun, keeps us off phones, and gets us talking. We also workout then some nights… not together but encouraging each other toward those goals is helpful. We don’t watch tv unless it’s sthing we are both excited about and then that hangout / cuddle time by a fire hits the spot.

We have also started doing some staycation days randomly. Entire days where we go do some stuff that is harder with the little one. Like we go do a fancy lunch for example.

likesmarthelpful

Yeah man. Staycations are amazing. Our last one we ate breakfast out at a new spot, worked out, had a fancy lunch, and played some Cornhole in the yard. Nothing fancy but it was a lot of fun.

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Alive: recommend doing something that is both thoughtful and helpful, such as cleaning house, taking something off her plate, handling childcare to give her some down time, etc. Pair with flowers.

Healthy: rinse, repeat above. At least once a week, schedule permitting: commit to being present with Teams and Outlook notifications muted so you’re not haunted by Corporate America during dinner, garbage television, or whatever else she wants to do.

Apply to time with your children too. It goes so fast.

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I am in my 40s and I constantly hold my wife close and tight, then kiss her neck and tell her she smells amazing or looks stunning. I’ll wrap my arms around her from the back and whisper in her ear how much I crave her those times when she isn’t around. Other times I just touch her face with my finger tips, kiss her lips then whisper in her ear I want her insanely bad, but these damn kids just wear me out. We get a laugh. I flirt with my wife constantly. Just flirt. Treat her like you just met her and she has options for a better man.

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Lol I am so far away from this at 36. Slightly between the above spectrum of “do the dishes” and with occasional nightly together activities after kids bedtime (2&4). It’s tough

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My wife and I try to wake up atleast an hour before the kids get up, have some coffee and sit outside just to talk. Once you get into a morning routine I’ve found it’s the best time to sneak in some fun.

Also, we were in a rut after our 2nd and I went online and bought some adult items. It was new for us but it ended up being a ton of fun and now our romance side of things is as healthy as it’s ever been.

likeupliftinghelpful

My wife and I both work from home (for about 4 years now). We make it a point to a) implement random hugs and b) making/ordering food/coffee for the other during breaks

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Might be an idea:,Several years ago we established a “daytime date” on the weekends. Just 4-5hs together as grown ups. Every weekend . Nothing necessarily fancy. Sometimes we just go to do groceries and then a quick lunch. But created the space to reconnect
Everything else came after

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Yes. Much easier than arranging one for the evenings . It’s about time together rather than making it eventful

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I need constant reminders, but I try to do some of the things I did while dating her. It’s easy to get comfortable since we’re married and parents

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A lot of good stuff in here. One thing I do is buy my wife flowers every Friday. It's a great ROI.

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Thanks for all the great advice!

The thing that blew my wife away more than anything else was taking the kids for a week and supporting her to visit friends in Europe without kiddos.

Otherwise finding things we enjoy doing together eg hiking etc and getting a sitter to cover these vs getting stuck in thinking traditional date ideas are how we should spend time together.

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